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I would like to hear from others who have had any experience dealing with a parent who has lost interest in living after the death of there spouse.
My mother died in May of 2006 - she and dad had been married for 47 years. Since then my dad has really lost interest in life all he seems to do is sit around and watch TV. We helped him move out of our family home (just recently sold the house) and into a independent/assisted care housing (lots of opportunities for friends/activities. His health is so/so and his mental status is declining. This past week he has stopped going to the dining room for dinner and he hasn't shopped. I am really worried and am not sure what to do. Any advice would be welcome.
Thanks in advance.
My mother died in May of 2006 - she and dad had been married for 47 years. Since then my dad has really lost interest in life all he seems to do is sit around and watch TV. We helped him move out of our family home (just recently sold the house) and into a independent/assisted care housing (lots of opportunities for friends/activities. His health is so/so and his mental status is declining. This past week he has stopped going to the dining room for dinner and he hasn't shopped. I am really worried and am not sure what to do. Any advice would be welcome.
Thanks in advance.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
It could be me who wrote your post. I lost my mother in Oct. 2006, a few weeks before their 60th wedding anniversary. Dad has moderate dementia, but otherwise is in decent health (he is 81) although he experienced two broken hips in 2005. He has learned to walk quite well again. However, he is depressed because he is not allowed to drive (doctor's) and he is so lonely. We have thought about the assisted living thing, but know that he would absolutely refuse to leave his home unless his mind gets a whole lot worse. We try and see him and get him out a lot (five kids, we all live near), and it helps, but he forgets and thinks it's been awhile. I am there everyday for at least an hour or more. We all take turns taking in meals, so he does see us all. Perhaps your change was maybe too soon. Can you talk to the personnel at his new home and see if they could set up a regular visitor or two from his new home that will help him acclimate? Does he have any old friends that could visit him....you know it's hard, but we have swallowed our pride a couple of times and called and asked people if they would mind dropping by. My dad had a zillion friends...many have dropped by, but after awhile, because he's not out and about with his own vehicle, they slowly stop. It's heartbreaking. Another tip that may seem silly.....we got my dad started on doing "junior puzzles"...these are jigsaw puzzles that are made for young kids...100 pieces....you can get them at places like KMart, WalMart, etc., and I am finding them at garage sales....he has over a 100 puzzles. He never worked on a puzzle in his life till now. We didn't think he would do it. But once he started, he now claims they have saved his life. He says that when he works on them, he can't be thinking of other things, so it really helps. Believe me, we keep looking for them. He has so many that he can re-do them and forget that he ever did them before. This is a very good technique to help the brain, too, and we believe he would be a lot worse without doing them. I hope things look up for you all...I know the place you're in.
Beckeroo