i sit here everynight and day and feel sorry for myself pretty much. tonite i came to a realization......i put up my moms tree and i was sitting in her chair, and i sat and looked at it and i thought "my mom sat here for 4 years and looked at his tree and missed the man that meant everything to her" my god how did she do it? how lonely she must have felt, and her kids were with their husbands/wives and she was so alone. i feel i am holding her back from being happy, because of my sadness, mom and dad, i love you sooooo much. we all heart and miss you so much here but mommy, please be happy with dad this year to celebrate jesuses birthday, i will try to hold myself together and not take your attention from dad and jesus, god knows how much i love and miss you both, we all do. i always read that if the spirit is needed here it will leave heaven and come here, i love you mom and dad, enjoy your christmas in heaven together, i'm trying so hard to keep from crying. i don't mean to i am sorry i'm trying so hard not too, i know it holds you back, how do i stop it? please forgive me, i'm sorry. i love you more than anything in life.
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