So I met this man named Tony.We connected the moment we met. We dated for about six months and I found out I was pregnant.This would be his first child and my second.Tony was a free spirited person who was full of life.I was the opposite.I have always been responsible and strive for security. Tony brought me to life. For about a year things were wonderful. He taught me to try new things and realy brought me joy. I had noticed though that he seemed different and wanted to drink alcoholic energy drink daily. His drinking became daily even though he didn't necessarly get drunk.Tony and I spent a lot long time together during my maternity leave . I started noticing that it was more than just drinking.I began questioning him and he would deny it.Tony began to get violent and verbaly abusive towards my son and I .Although he never physicaly hit me he threw items and I believe it was getting close to more.I begged him to get treatment after I found him on my back porch suffering from an overdose.When moved him to the groungd to do CPR he awakened and began to breath again. I left him because he continued to deny the problem and got more and more abusive.We bagan a custody battle,I ended up having to get a restraining order and he would often times show up for court high.I believe he loved us but his addictions took over. I received a phone call from his family that he had overdosed on heroine and he went with out oxygen for at least10 to 12 minutes.Tony was on life support for 3 days and then faded away.I want everyone to know that although in the end there was a lot of fighting, Tony was a wonderful man and through his death he saved 5 peoples lives at his request by being an orgon donor. I am barely coping with the loss and sad that there was so much fighting in the end.I can't quit thinking that I could have done more or something different.I keep hearing from others that he loved us and wanted his family back. I am stricken with guilt and feel like i lost the love of my life.Drugs took him away from me and there is nothing I can do about it.A week before he died he finaly addmitted that he had an alcohol problem.He never addmitted to being addicted to heroine even though he used it daily.I miss him and would gladly trade places with him right now just to make the pain and guilt go away.My children are the only thing keeping me going right now.
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