I often think about all the people that have went before me. Having almost drown when I was 5 I am not afraid of when my time comes I know what the feeling is.When my Grandfather died in 1984 a big part of me kinda left with him.I did not cry for 7 years after he had died.
My best friend from age 9 told me he had HIV when he was 28. I had called him at midnight every year on his birthday.He and his husband would use my name onthe flowers they would send each other at their work places.He died before his 30th birthday and his parents begged me not to go see him when he was blind and dying from AIDS.I talked to him on the phone and we said our I love yous and goodbyes. My Father 14 years ago was told he had cancer on the same day as I got a loan on my first house and I took him and my Mom to and from the hospitol for the month that he lived and with the family all around him and my hand on his toe he took his last breath and went.My mother kissed him and took his hearing aids off.I was glad the pain was over for him and had no time to cry my Mother needed her only daughter.I have been kinda lost with out my Dad.My Mom's mom died and both her sisters my Aunts.My other best friend called me out of the blue from TX to tell me he was going to take on a trucking job and come visit me that was 4 years ago in Nov. and a few days after Christmas his brother called to tell me he had a heart attack on Christmas eve and his 9 year old daughte found him in his chair, he would have been 40 just after the new year.
All these people have a little part of me.
I always think of them and here them laughing remember how warm they made me feel in my heart.I also have had many animal companions go.They were very much a part of me too.
I will send my balloons up to heaven on Fathers day and his birthday knowing he is with me forever.