I still have yet to deal with the death of both my parents. I lost my mother at 18, and my father at 21. I am now 23yrs old and can't fight this overwhelming feeling of a complete loss of family. I have an older brother and sister, and a wonderful family I can confide in and speak to with open arms and a warm heart. I since then, have isolated myself into my own little world of depression. I have wonderful friends and an amazing boyfriend I love more than anything. I find it extremly difficult to discuss my feelings about my feelings with ANYONE of feeling so alone and like an orphan. I just can't get myself to talk about this with any one because I don't have anyone to relate to. All I get is the sad look of pity on the other person's face and it just gets me more upset. I just can't seem to come to grips with it all. I try to stay strong, and have many people find my admirable for my "strength", but I can't help but feel it's just a facade. I still feel like a lonely little child with no Mom & Dad. I feel on my own and have not come to terms with everything yet. I don't have much faith that I ever will. I am new to this site, with hopes to find people to relate to, hopefully get help, or help someone else. I've sunk into this world of depression I don't even have the energy to get myself out of. I have hopes, goals and aspirations for the future, but fear I will not accomplish anything in fear or facing the world again. I long for the day to get married and have children so I can create my own family unit some day...I feel that it may fill the void in my heart that I so long for that family unit again. If anyone out there is in a similar position and also needs someone to talk to, feel free to respond. I could use an understanding heart.
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