Im so angry today, I woke up crying, and for a 285 pound, 6'3 39 year old man I feel as bout as big as a cockroach under foot. I feel cheated, I feel as though there is some entity out there working against me, and it attacks every time I am at peace or find somthing in life to love, recently I have ben juggling the idea that maybe im cursed, or posest, like a dark unlucky cloud tha follows,.... I take no pleasure in anything,I feel guilty to enjoy anything cause she's not here to enjoy it with me, I just want her back, and I know I cant have her back and it infuriates me to the point I want to brake somthing, scream, yell, beat my head against the wall, but in the end I find myself curled up in a corner with her picture to look at and her nightgown to smell and cry. I hate crying.
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