Bereavement Support Group
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Okay I don't know how this is all gonna come out... but I need to go somewhere with it
I lost my big bro when we were very young. I have PTSD and all sorts of issues dealing with loss from this.
Last year my Gramps (the closest to a father I've ever known) died after a long and sad illness.
Last month we lost my uncle from cancer. His was a long and up and down illness. Better worse, one step forward 2 back. Then suddenly it was 2 weeks to live. 2 days later he went into a coma and died.
We are all in shock, and very sad, he was only 59 with a family and young grandkids and all.
I can't seem to really deal, when I start to think about it I cry and have panic attacks.
And on top of it all, I don't feel like I have the right to be this upset. My mom and aunts and uncles, he was their big bro. My cousins lost a dad, his wife her soulmate, my grandma her oldest son.
But feeling that way doesn't stop me from sitting here crying at work while I am sposta be doing other things. I can't concentrate on anything. It's like between all my issues they've put me on float.
My brain won't go to far into it, it's my self-defense mechanism. But if I never deal with it how will it ever get better? And what if I try, and just can't deal with it? maybe my brain just can't process.
I feel bad spouting off about this. I don't comment because I feel like I haven't been through the same, still have my Mom, but it's still like a part of me is blown away.
I lost my big bro when we were very young. I have PTSD and all sorts of issues dealing with loss from this.
Last year my Gramps (the closest to a father I've ever known) died after a long and sad illness.
Last month we lost my uncle from cancer. His was a long and up and down illness. Better worse, one step forward 2 back. Then suddenly it was 2 weeks to live. 2 days later he went into a coma and died.
We are all in shock, and very sad, he was only 59 with a family and young grandkids and all.
I can't seem to really deal, when I start to think about it I cry and have panic attacks.
And on top of it all, I don't feel like I have the right to be this upset. My mom and aunts and uncles, he was their big bro. My cousins lost a dad, his wife her soulmate, my grandma her oldest son.
But feeling that way doesn't stop me from sitting here crying at work while I am sposta be doing other things. I can't concentrate on anything. It's like between all my issues they've put me on float.
My brain won't go to far into it, it's my self-defense mechanism. But if I never deal with it how will it ever get better? And what if I try, and just can't deal with it? maybe my brain just can't process.
I feel bad spouting off about this. I don't comment because I feel like I haven't been through the same, still have my Mom, but it's still like a part of me is blown away.
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This is a general message I am posting to all of the groups I belong to:I just thought back to when I first found DS soon after it first began and what a different life I had then. It is much better now, mainly because I have my own apartment as opposed to living in an old travel trailer in somebody's driveway. But even that could have been much worse than it was. I have been here now since...
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i lost my uncle last year. lately i've been very up and down with it. i miss him everyday, but somedays i'm just devastated about it. and just like you, i find myself feeling like i shouldn't be sad. what about my aunt, and my cousin... they've lost a husband and a father.
more than anything i think you just need to give yourself time. it's only been a month. cry if you need to cry. i know from experience holding all of that in is not a good or healthy thing to do!
i'm so sorry for your loss, take the time you need to heal.
Beckeroo