Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

Hard to Do

deleted_user
deleted_user
Okay I don't know how this is all gonna come out... but I need to go somewhere with it

I lost my big bro when we were very young. I have PTSD and all sorts of issues dealing with loss from this.
Last year my Gramps (the closest to a father I've ever known) died after a long and sad illness.

Last month we lost my uncle from cancer. His was a long and up and down illness. Better worse, one step forward 2 back. Then suddenly it was 2 weeks to live. 2 days later he went into a coma and died.
We are all in shock, and very sad, he was only 59 with a family and young grandkids and all.
I can't seem to really deal, when I start to think about it I cry and have panic attacks.
And on top of it all, I don't feel like I have the right to be this upset. My mom and aunts and uncles, he was their big bro. My cousins lost a dad, his wife her soulmate, my grandma her oldest son.
But feeling that way doesn't stop me from sitting here crying at work while I am sposta be doing other things. I can't concentrate on anything. It's like between all my issues they've put me on float.
My brain won't go to far into it, it's my self-defense mechanism. But if I never deal with it how will it ever get better? And what if I try, and just can't deal with it? maybe my brain just can't process.

I feel bad spouting off about this. I don't comment because I feel like I haven't been through the same, still have my Mom, but it's still like a part of me is blown away.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe you are unknowingly worrying about the fact that it could easily be your mother or someone else close to you. Death doesn't get only the older folks, it can happen just as easily to those around us who are young and are looking forward to a long future. I think we all tend to think like that when someone we don't ever think about leaving us does.
deleted_user
deleted_user
youve still lost some one who u care aboutand love u have to give yourself the premission to cry and grieve! im here for u if u want to talk take carex
deleted_user
deleted_user
i understand exactly how you feel...
i lost my uncle last year. lately i've been very up and down with it. i miss him everyday, but somedays i'm just devastated about it. and just like you, i find myself feeling like i shouldn't be sad. what about my aunt, and my cousin... they've lost a husband and a father.
more than anything i think you just need to give yourself time. it's only been a month. cry if you need to cry. i know from experience holding all of that in is not a good or healthy thing to do!
i'm so sorry for your loss, take the time you need to heal.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You have had too much loss in too short a time. Yes, your brain IS putting you on float in an effort to protect you. That will slowly resolve itself. Do not expect too much from yourself right now. Allow your grief to be the way it is. I say this because it will, anyway. It's not about who should be suffering the most, it's about everybody handling their grief in their own way. For example, if your grandma is really suffering, that does not mean that you are not entitled to suffer grief, too. There's plenty to go around. You are right, you must deal with it and go through the steps. You will be able to deal with it, really you will. Get help from a grief counselor (try hospitals and/or funeral homes or the yellow pages to find one)...they can take you through the steps and explain them. Grief will not be hurried. You can't rush through it to feel better. It takes its own path and you are obliged to follow at the pace it goes. Let it happen so that you can be better down the road. I know the pain is awful and it's easy to panic, but God is with us and somehow He pulls us through. I promise you, you can do this.

Beckeroo
starfish
starfish
If you have several losses to deal with, and PTSD on top of it to make it all the more difficult, no wonder you are having problems. Is there a way you could take some personal time off work to get some rest?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wish I could take some time off. But I work three jobs to stay afloat, and I took a few evenings off at one of them. I've been exhausted lately though and have been sick most of the time too. Maybe I should think about taking a week off before I end up in the hospital or somethin...... and I have no insurance right now (my job sitch is screwy since the accident and having to take a less-paying job) so I don't know where to go. On top of it all, I am beginning to think my BP is goin nutty, and I just don't know what to do or where to go anymore
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