My Dad died about 2 1/2 weeks ago. He had been ill with liver failure for some time, but his death (from a heart attack) was unexpected. I was hoping he would come to the city where I live and go to an assisted living facility where I could see him every day and help him. During one of our last conversations I asked him about moving here and he said he would think about it. He left a message on Easter and I didn't call him back because we had a house full of guests. He was probably alone. I feel so guilty about not calling him back - what if he was calling to say he would come here..?..and guilty about not doing more sooner to get him to move here, about not trying hard enough to get him to go to a treatment facility for alcohol, about not going to see him more-I feel cowardly because it was hard for me to see him when he was so sick. I loved him so much, but I couldn't get over myself to be more involved with him during his last years when the alcoholism was bad. Why do I have to learn this lesson with my Dad...with someone who meant so much to me?? I hope he's okay - I haven't had a sign. I miss him even though I didn't talk to him or see him that often. It's like a void inside. I thought I had more time. Is this normal?
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