I feel so guilty about not calling 911 when my daughter was having a seizure and not checking her pulse after the seizure. I felt as a mother I should know to do these things. She has had seizures before and I have always taken her to the emergency room when they were bad, but this time I just wished I had called instead of trying to take her. She has had a seizure disorder since 4 months old and has survived the worst. She has had seizure in her sleep so bad, she didn't want to go to sleep sometimes. I feel like her death is my fault and I cannot shake this feeling. Nothing feels the same anymore. The places we go. I can't go to the store without crying. I go to an event see a little girl like my daugher we have to leave because I break down and cry. I just feel so guilty inside. I feel like if I had called 911 when she was having the seizure she would be alive today. They couldn't move her no more than I could until the seizure was over, they tell you not to move them with the possibility of them choking or cutting off their air. But if I had called they would have caught the not breathing or anything else that was happening, that never happened before. I am empty inside. I cannot sleep. I have never been able to sleep if my children are not home. She is not home. I walk throughout the house in a daze. My other 2 children are consoling and my son is hurting too. They always check on me and I say I am alright knowing I am not. The guilt, the pain, the emptiness is hard to cope with. I loved my daughter so much and it pains me know I could have caused her death.
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