I have been out oftouch with thisgroupfor a coupleofweks. i havehadto remove a virus from thiscomputer. it has been arough2weeks August30 wasthe 3 month mark since my youngest sons funeral, and now the finality and reality isreally setting in hard, nowthat the fall will be coming and school starting here in houston , i have been very sad and have donealotofcrying, probably some much needed crying, as i havekind of run from this thing all summer by just throwing myself into my work. partly to forget andnot deal with the pain and lonliness, but also because i have been enabling my only surviving child. he is 28 and schizophrenic, andhas taken to using drugs heavily. he has been stealing from me, andi have just been letttinghim i guess you wouldsay. it reached thebreaking point this weekend, and today i had him commited to a mental hospital on an emergency detention warrent. I hope hewill get better, i dontknow if he will or not i can onlyprayand hope.he haslost so much weight and looks horrible. heis paranoid and psychotic. I am afraid i am goingto end up burying another child, and i just cannot stand the thought of it. i feel bad for having had him taken awat, butfelt ihave no other viable options. i pray that things work out.
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Dear God and Universe,Please bring good energy and love into my life.Please bring me a honest, loving and kind man with no motives other than to love me and win my heart carefully and honestly. Please protect me from those who wish to do me harm.Please help me thru the lonliness i feel and remember why I made the step I did.Please help me thru the pain and disappointment I feel and come out of...
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