His birthday/angel day is January 27th
OMG my FIL is only making this harder than it has to be :(

I'm sorry.You know what I think?I think you should tell FIL to keep his opinions to himself.Maybe he didn't say it to deliberately hurt you,I don't know anything about him,but he needs to know how bad that remark hurt.I'm here if you need me!love ya,Trish

people deal with things different ways. men differ from women on there feelings and stuff. and old school people think it's just easier and better off to forget and act like it never happened than to grieve. my husbands grandpa died nov 17 08, then on thanksgiving day the 27. I lost my mama. my old man was a little upset for about a day, about his grandpa. he looks at me like i'm stupid or something, for how I am now. and acts as if nothing has happened. every now and again he'll ask me "what's wrong?" I'm sorry, are you retarted or something? my world has just been ripped apart and your gonna ask me whats wrong! so I told him to F off. if I were you I'd do the same thing. just maybe not that mean. you gotta do, what you gotta do in order to live your life in a half way decent way. your in my prayers

Hi kyring, I'm sorry for your loss. What a beautiful angel. He looks so peaceful. I can see he is truly living in your heart. I can relate to FIL's. Mine's a doozy. There from a generation beyond, and their growth and environment can dictate how they see things. We all feel and grieve in our own way. I don't know yours, but I often have to say to my FIL, "thank you for your honesty, but this is my reality and I'd appreciate your support". I think an Angel Day is a wonderful idea. You can't control how he feels kyring, so try not to exert any energy that way, but you can allow yourself your own emotions, and own way on which to remember this special child. CM xxx

People say the stupidest things. I don't know if they think they are helping but they're not. They do the opposite. As if you will ever forget your child for the rest of your life. I recently went out with a man, I told him what I've been through the past few years, my mom died a year ago. He told me a year was long eough to grieve. She was my best friend and I miss her terribly Some days are better than others. He had not right to say that to me, I won't be seeing hime again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love to you, Nancy

Sorry to read of this occurance. I'm curious, how old is your FIL? I too think it's a generational thing. Not that it makes it right by any means but, you expressing yourself productively may eliminate any future remarks that maybe made.
Best of luck ~
Happy birth / Angel day to your little one!
God Bless all of you ~

Thank you all so much for the responses and yes I did stand up for myself and my little angel..I love my FIL like crazy but you can only take so much of the gripiness!
He is getting to be so grouchy here lately and seriously(not making fun b/c there is nothing funny about it) I think the man is truly starting to lose his mind!

I totally understand how you feel, as my dad told me to "just get over it" not even a week after the accident.

Im not sure if he was just looking out for you and meant , its not healthy for people to constantly call you and bring up painful memories, but the way it was said, definatly touched a nerve and was disrespectful.

You should explain that this baby is as much a part of your family, as anyone else. And ha he of lived to be 10, or 15 it would be no differnet. It is a signifcant loss and you will always remember your child, and the loss you feel.

For the girls angle day-- We bought a bunch of differnt shaped balloons like a butterfly, scoobe doo, things they loved, and tied them in with a few dozen helium baloons of their favorite color.

We all made small boxes and decorated them, really beautifuly and wrote notes to go in each of the boxes.

We then tied the all the balloons together and the notes to the end. And said a prayer as we released them at the cemetary.

It was such an emotional experience, but I felt so close to them that day. I will never forget how bad it hurt when watched them rise to the heaven and slowly dissapear into the horizion.

Whatever you do, make it special. Something positive you can look back on, and celebrate the precious gift of life that God gave you for 9 months, although it is hard to understand..

I tried to do something nice to tribute the girls. One of which was starting my own prayer group in their name.

I worked at a childrens hospital for a while after their deaths, and know that they are in desperate need of voulenteers to hold and feed babies who parents do not come to visit, or are crack babies.
I think it would be a wonderful tribute to do something in their name.

I will be thinking of you on your day.

I'm so sorry your FIL was mean to you he may not have meant for it to come across that way, but very hurtful anyway. We NEED to talk about our loved ones, it helps us heal. I think an Angel day is a beautiful tribute to your son.

I'm glad you stood up for yourself and talked to him about it. It may be hurtful to him to hear people talk about your baby, but YOU need to talk about him.

Healing prayers for honey,
Laurie

I am losing my mind with this man-If interested it is in my journal!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone please tell me what I can do?

Oh yeah I forgot to add when asked how old is he? I want to say 56 yrs old?????

Well, 56 certainly isn't THAT old by any means. Damn, I was thinking a lot older!
Hummmm......maybe a dope slap up the back side of the head? : ) What about your husband? Can he speak to his dad?

oooweeeee the slap up side the head sounds so good!!!!
Yes he has talked to him on several occasions and now it is a little better but still when my hubby isnt home..well ya know?