it's 10:15 am and I am getting ready t go to my mom's service. I feel sick and nervous and i can't believe this is happening. My partner is here and two of m close friends will be here in 1 hour and they will all drive me. talked with my sister this am. talked with my mom's bet friend. it just fels so unreal. My sister and i decided to not have a formal reception line. i don't know how many people will be there. i miss my mom so much and i wish my dad was here to tell me that everything will be okay and that we would go sailing together and sit on the deck at their home and talk about projects we will do at my house in the spring. but he left sept 20, 2008. i miss them terribly. feels like i am in a very sad and tragic movie that has no ending.
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