Wednesday will be 3 weeks since my Grampa died. The first week was rough but ever since then I don't really thing about it so much. It still doesn't seem real!!! He was so sick for so long and it felt like we were just waiting for the inevitable. He hasn't really been himself for years so it seems like hes already been gone for so long. Then it finally happened and it was bittersweet. I'm glad hes no longer in pain or suffering and I know he was ready to go so I'm glad hes in a better place. But now I feel like I've been waiting so long for this funeral. (They wanted to wait until my cousin could be there) Now I'm nervous for Friday. Its been 8 years since I went to a funeral. I just don't know what to expect. I've been having anxiety problems lately so I'm sure thats part of it. I get stressed about the stupidest things. I'm jsut afraid that maybe this funeral is finally going to make it seem real and I'm gonna lose it completely. I just want it to be over with.
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