I find myself feeling so guilty as I sit here tonight. My mother was probably the most wonderful, beautiful, strong person I have ever known. But at the end, she wasn't anything like the woman I had known. She was frail and scared and in so much pain. She battled cancer for 10 months before she lost the fight. I got a call from my sister on January 7th saying that it was the end and I rushed to my mother's bedside. When I got there she couldn't even move, she couldn't talk, she could hardly even breathe. We all said our good byes and told her that we would go on without her, that we would all be ok. Then I left the room and went out onto her front porch to pray. I asked the Lord to take her home, to end her suffering. As I was praying, my mother took her last breath. Now I feel so guilty, like I should have held on a little longer. I almost feel like it is my fault she is gone. I miss her so much and I just wish I could have one more minute with her, one more chance to tell her I love her, one more chance to kiss her cheek.
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