Hi I'm new here. Really just looking for ways to cope with his death & the aftermath of it. Dad passed in March this year, I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. My father was a drug addict/alcoholic for the past 30+years. His addiction killed him, though he had the opportunity many times to get/stay clean. He took some bad dope, gave him a massive stroke & was a vegetable the last 18 mos of his life. He was 65. We had been estranged the past 12 yrs due to his lifestyle. After my husband & I found him in the streets & tried to put him in rehab & he refused, I had to walk away, couldn't cope seeing him like that. I could not relive my childhood. I have a lot of anger because of the years of abuse, neglect & abandonment me & my older brother/sisters endured. Yet I still loved him & my heart breaks for him knowing how he died. I am so conflicted, one minute I'm mad, the next I'm sad, the next I'm numb or silent. Nobody wants/cares to talk about this & tell the truth so I have to suppress it. I really just want to get to a better place, I have faith I will one day, but I really just feel alone. Nobody asks me if I'm ok or how I feel or how I'm doing, so I just keep it in. If anyone else out there lost a family member to addiction, please tell me how you managed to cope. And thanks for reading this, if nothing else it helped me feel better for a few mins.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...