I really feel that grieiving and death just reminds us of the fact that we really have no control. I know I cannot control or predict when my grief takes over. My mother used to always tell me \"the only control we have in life is over our reaction to the situations we face.\" I feel like my complete lack of contol over my mother\'s death and prevention of it has made me lose faith. The day before she died I was at the hospital with a bunch of her loved ones visiting and she looked at each one of us and asked us \"can you save me?\" Each one of us answered a sorrowful \"no.\" I\'ve never felt so powerless in my life and I never saw my mother look so dissapointed. I now think of all the pain she went through because of her cancer and it just makes me so angry at the universe. Before my mother passed away I had a very good relationship with my higher power but since a wall has gone up and it is hard for me to believe that such a wonderful being took such an amazing woman during the height of her purposeful life. I really do believe that there is a God that is all loving and I just hate the fact that we must feel so much suffering to truly be human. We are bound together by our suffering and love and unfortunately they sometimes come hand and hand. I wonder how other people forgave their higher power for taking their loved one.
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