My heart goes out to you. I have no words for your losses. I too lost my baby boy to brain cancer almost 9 months ago and I can relate to some of your feelings that you described. What has helped me is my faith. I have taken time for the first time ever in my life to look at the bible. It shows the promise of life after death and that is what I think of each day when I miss my baby. That he is with God in heaven and I will see him one day. I don't know if you are a religious person or not, and I do not want to preach to you. I am just telling you what has helped me in the darkest moments when I didn't think it was worth living anymore or worth doing anything. I am here if you ever need to talk, or cry or vent or anything else. I will keep you in my prayers.

My deepest condolances. I just can't imagine. All I can say is that it will get better. In my experience, it takes a great deal of time though, so keep trying, that's all you can do. I am happy to give you some comfort from the Bible if that interests you at all. There are many scriptures that talk about the condition of those who've died, where they are, what they're hope is, etc. Just let me know if you want any of those. Have you considered seeing a therapist as well?

I am so sorry to read that you too have begun this difficult and tiring journey. I lost my son on Oct. 31, 2003 and I now see life threw my tears that I never could see before. God's promises are my only hope now and I put my faith in them. When life becomes too difficult for me I remember Psalm 91:4
Until my storm has passed. I will take refuge beneath his wings. There I find comfort. There I am blessed. There I will hide until my trial is over. Sheltered and protected, resting in Jesus where I am safe evermore. I will add you to my prayer list and I am here if you just need to talk.
Pam

I to lost my son on 06/12/06 to his motorcycle. No others involved. I also lost my mother on 12/11/06 and my father is hanging on. I know its hard but is there a happy moment that the two of you shared that you can image over and over during the day? My son was 400 miles from home and when i read the accident report that was the one thought that takes my breath away and sets panic in me but i push as hard as i can an think of his smile, his laughter and the sillness that made us all smile. I think of how he brightend our days and how he loved to dance. I think about it constantly so that the bad thoughts dont take over..I hope that this helps..I know there are days i can barely breathe. But i am manageing for his sake because i know he would want me to...

I share your sorrow. We also lost our son on 12/27/06. As mentioned by others, faith in a sovereign GOD is all we have to hope upon. I will keep you in my prayers.

Read Psalm 139. God knows the beginning of our lives and the end. But, He is not the author of death. He is the giver of life. He knows the outcome of our decisions. We can altar the course of our lives by believing the Word of God.
denita

"The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in time of trouble.
Ps. 9:9
denita
There is only one way to understand life and that is through the One who created life. This life is short. This is where we experience tribulation and death but what did Jesus say? He said, "In this world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer for I have overcome." What does that mean? That means that in Christ, you can overcome the effects of loss in our life. The realities of life can make us angry. Death is not fair but it is a part of this life. Loss is painful, but we are not in heaven yet, where there is no more pain, crying or death. Guilt is something Jesus took upon himself when He died on the cross so you won't have to feel guilty anymore. Do you know how to exchange your guilt for His peace?
denita

I am so sorry. The images are so hard to deal with and the nights seem to be worse for me also. I try to say "NO" or that this is not the time, repeating that over and over, when the horrific visions are overpowering. It does seem to help some, at least sometimes. Other parents have told me that they remind themselves that this is now, that already happened, it's not happening to him now. I wish I had some magic cure for you, but I am still struggling myself. It's been 3 1/2 years since my son was murdered. Meds and counseling do help get me through the days.

Wishing you moments of peace.

I lost my son 9/12/06 in a cruel accident.
The pain has been horrific...I can tell yo that there a good days and bad. I am starting to see more good days laely. Hang in there.

I lost my daughter three and a half years ago, it feels like yesterday. I miss her so much I can hardly stand it at times. I do have more good days than i did even one year ago, but there are still those days I can hardly get through. i lost my daughter in an auto accident, she was on her way back to college. She was only 19 and full of life. She died on her sisters 18th birthday. I still go through times of guilt, wishing I had been a better mother, wishing I had spent more time with her, guilty about anything and everything.
I stay busy all the time, trying to avoid the emptiness and the pain and the realization that she is gone. I'm sorry i sound so dismal it's been one of those days. I really do have a lot more good days than bad, I guess we will just always have that little bit of emptiness in our hearts where are babies are suppose to be. I promise it will get better. take care

i am so sorry for your loss. i will keep you in my prayers

Hi there...I am so sorry to hear about your son...such a handsome young man. I also lost my son Jon,12/11/05. He was 17, and had gone to spend the night at a friend's house on Saturday evening, so they coul get up and go snowboarding the next morning. I found out early Sunday morning that the house he had been staying at had burnt down, and three boys didn't make it out. I later found out that my son was one of them. I also have the "visions" of him burning in the fire, they are terrible. But I try to remember that my son's soul had already left his physical body, and he felt no pain. The gulit...Ah yes....the guilt....completelt normal, as terrible as it is. And on top all your other losses, of course you feel empty. But know that there are other here you can talk to, that really know your pain. If you ever need to talk, I am here. I will be thinking of you. Love, Carole (Jon's Mom)