I have felt that way for many years, due to the passing of loved ones. I've managed to "go through the motions" for those who expect it. This year, my husband lost his mom, so now he finally sees how I have felt.
It will come, and it will go, and you will get through it. Sending huggs, Rainbowmama

((((HUGS))))
I know how you feel I hate Christmas,When I was 5 my Father passed awy 3 days after Christmas.Also since my daughter Miranda was killed 3 yrs ago it has gotten even worse,plus her B-day is week after Christmas,she was the fisrt New Years baby in 1987,and would have been 21 this year. So I am very Baa Humbug..hate it.

Me too!!! I understand completely. We all wish we could just skip over the holidays, since we can't we will have to pretend. Hugs!

I feel the same way about Thanksgiving, I lost my daughter on Thanksgiving day. Hugs to you, no need for apolizes You can vent all you want, I completly understand

My daughter, Beth, was killed 3 weeks before Easter. Of course, I hated the holiday that essentially celebrated death. Of course, my daughter was not going to rise again and visit my family. So, I decided NOT to "do Easter" at all. I had adopted 2 younger children... and I had a 12 year old biological daughter as well. Late on Saturday... I heard the kids talking about the Easter Bunny and dyed eggs and chocolate bunnies... THEN, I snapped back to reality...

I HAD to celebrate Easter. It was important because I could not allow my family to miss an important part of healing. I surely did not feel up to running out right before the mall closed, grabbing any old basket I could find.

But, I did buy Easter things... and we did dye eggs, and we did celebrate Easter even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.

I'm happy that I had the younger children. If not for them, I might have never looked forward to another holiday and that was 21 years ago.

It became my goal to make EVERY holiday and birthday ESPECIALLY memorable for the family I had left.

I know that holidays are hard. Even for people who have not lost loved ones - the suicide rate triples during this season.

And if you decide NOT to celebrate a holiday, then it is your choice. You have the right to handle your grief in any way you feel appropriate.

When my daughter's father died right before Christmas a few years ago, I went over, urged her out of bed, took her shopping and to lunch. I did this at least 10 times before Christmas. I bought all the gifts for her girls and husband and helped to wrap them all. I planned and arranged the Christmas (family) party.

The next year, Jessica was sad, but she knew I would be over for the "ritual."

Now she says it is the best thing I could have done for her. The girls never knew how Jessica wanted to toss Christmas aside, and it is good that they didn't know. They still don't know that I forced my daughter to face Christmas that year.

Once again, I did it for the kids. And it turns out it was the right move.

My daughter recently wrote a journal entry about "changes" and moving on. It was very inspiring and I can see that she is healing from loss.

I'm not advocating that everyone "snap out of it" and have a great celebration in your time of mourning.

I'm simply sharing what worked for me.

If there is one thing I have learned; there is no one solution to such a complex problem as loss and grieving.

I hope each of you find a bit of peace during this holiday season.

Jo :)

I don't want Christmas to come either. Everytime I see a Christmas commercial or hear Christmas music I want to curl up in the fetal possition. I don't want to have Christmas without my mom.

i lost a baby 16 years ago an lost my son in march so no i dont want any holydays at all i just set an cry

thank you all for the support it means a lot to me knowing that i am not crazy because i feel this way...thank you all again

Robin -

I feel there are no words that can heal or help with your pain or fully extend my sympathies. But I understand how the holidays underscore our sadness and loss - even more. I wish I could celebrate them - I love Christmas and wanted to hear the songs and join the shoppers yesterday...I wanted to begin decorating my house - but the void is a silent protest to happiness.

You have your husband and family who, hopefully, can help you through this. We're extended holiday invitations but while people mean well and expect to help us get over it, we all grieve our own losses in ways the next person can't possible comprehend or feel.

The holidays will come whether or not we celebrate them. Just find YOUR place and time and manner of doing what YOU need to for yourself this year - as a mother, only YOU know what's right for what you feel.

my mom died just before christmas on 23. yea still painful though i cry every now and then. it feels like hole something missing at holidays bothers me. i hope in time the pain is less for my family.. blessings i know my mon is spirit and wants us to be happy.

No apologies needed. That is what this site is for. I am not looking forward to Christmas...can't wait till it is over too. I will force myself to put up the tree. I have hardly any family left, not married and no kids. Not one person really needs me except my cats so yeah....Christmas is not something I am excited about.

What your feeling is okay.

I definately feel the same way. I lost my husband 8 months ago today and I could care less about Christmas. I don't want to decorate or even put a tree up.

He was our holiday as he was the life of the party. I know Christmas morning will be nothing but tears when it has always been my favorite time of the year.
I can't listen to christmas songs especially the one "All I want for Christmas is You".
There is no reason to be sorry for how you are feeling and your family should understand.
Sending hugs, Margaret

I lost my son on 12-25-06 so I totally understand.I miss him so much. He suffered so much in his final weeks here and I know he is in a better place but I feel so lost without him.

Decide that this Christmas is going to be different from all Christmases... you won't be doing what you normally do to celebrate. This Christmas there may not be a tree, there may not be parties, but if you seek it, it may touch you in a way that no other Christmas has... to know that you have a savior and he is taking care of your loved ones in Heaven. You don't have to do what you normally do. Don't try to live up to expectations either. Just let God's holy spirit touch you. And try to make it special for your kids. If you think they need a tree, then do try - and just let them decorate it, you don't have to. Seek out a way for you all to be touched this year, ways for it to be special and that's all you can do. Make special memories with your kids - bake cookies, watch Christmas specials together. Or, maybe your kids can be in charge of planning Christmas Day? Get creative, make it different but most of all, know that this year it can touch you in a way you have never known. Maybe at the least, you'll have peace or a chance to just be still with God. I hope this is coming across the way it's intended. Be well, and I'm glad you let out your feelings.

thank you everyone it is nice to know that i am not the only one that feels this way and that i am not some kind of a nut case..i am trying to get into the holiday it is hard but i am trying..scott is helping alot and not pushing me to hard..but enough to see that we need to find a lil happiness through all of this some how is not for me for the boys..thank you so much...and i am so sorry for everyone's pain i wish i could heal it all...but i am here if any of you need anything...love you all...robin