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My mom died in a skilled nursing facility last December. We took care of her at home for awhile, but after my step-father fell and broke his leg, we had both of them to take care of and my sister decided that mom would have to be "placed." Mom did not want that and was very unhappy there. She let us know this every day. There are no good memories of her while she was there.
My MIL on the other hand, had a short rapid illness, and I was able to stay at her house with her, with the help of Hospice. She accepted her fate, and was strong and gracious right up until the end.
There will be a Hospice hosted memorial service next month for those who have passed in the last 6 months. I planned on going.
My sister just called me, to tell me that the skilled nursing facility that mom was in is hosting a memorial service tomorrow night which will include honoring mom. My sister wanted to know if I wanted to go, and I don't. I told her that, and she was fine with it, but I feel guilty.
How can I go to my MIL's next month, and not to moms' tomorrow night? If I don't go, will I regret it the rest of my life?
My MILs' birthday was this past Thursday, and I visited her grave on Friday. Mom's birthday is this coming Friday, and I will go to visit her grave.
Mom was a jealous, competitive person, and even after her death I am trying to "keep things even" between one and the other. It's like she still wont let go of her possessiveness of me, and yet I know that it is ME that won't let go of that part of her.
I don't know if I should call my sister back and say I will go or not. I have not been to "that place" since mom died and my step-dad got released from there. I am afraid I will just be a blubbering idiot there, and embarass my sister and look like a fool.
Any suggestions?
Rainbowmama
My MIL on the other hand, had a short rapid illness, and I was able to stay at her house with her, with the help of Hospice. She accepted her fate, and was strong and gracious right up until the end.
There will be a Hospice hosted memorial service next month for those who have passed in the last 6 months. I planned on going.
My sister just called me, to tell me that the skilled nursing facility that mom was in is hosting a memorial service tomorrow night which will include honoring mom. My sister wanted to know if I wanted to go, and I don't. I told her that, and she was fine with it, but I feel guilty.
How can I go to my MIL's next month, and not to moms' tomorrow night? If I don't go, will I regret it the rest of my life?
My MILs' birthday was this past Thursday, and I visited her grave on Friday. Mom's birthday is this coming Friday, and I will go to visit her grave.
Mom was a jealous, competitive person, and even after her death I am trying to "keep things even" between one and the other. It's like she still wont let go of her possessiveness of me, and yet I know that it is ME that won't let go of that part of her.
I don't know if I should call my sister back and say I will go or not. I have not been to "that place" since mom died and my step-dad got released from there. I am afraid I will just be a blubbering idiot there, and embarass my sister and look like a fool.
Any suggestions?
Rainbowmama
deleted_user
I think whether or not you go is a decision only you can make. I went to the hospice memorial after my Dad passed, and I tell ya it was hard. It was a tear-jerker and I wish I had never gone. I cried basically thru the whole thing. Especially when they played The Circle of Life. Do what your heart tells you to do.
ihart
Since you said you would feel guilty i think you should go.
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