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My wife and myself had our final requested written and given to each other.
My wife request were somewhat simple she wanted to be cremated, and not a big deal made out of her death. She did want her ashes spread in a certain place, which we are going to do for her.
But her father and some family and friends needed closure. I agree to that he could have a memorial service to help the people who loved her. I went because I wanted to support her family.
Do you think I went against her wishes?
My wife request were somewhat simple she wanted to be cremated, and not a big deal made out of her death. She did want her ashes spread in a certain place, which we are going to do for her.
But her father and some family and friends needed closure. I agree to that he could have a memorial service to help the people who loved her. I went because I wanted to support her family.
Do you think I went against her wishes?
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My mom had similar - there was no viewing, there was cremation. However, there are 4 of us kids, and for US, for her friends, we also had a memorial service while we were still gathered together before we scattered back to our lives across the country, we planned, held, and participated in a memorial service to honor her passing. That part was for US, not for Mom, but honoring Mom. The memorial service was for those of us still living to say goodbye in the best way we know how.
But you DID honor her request, you did have your wife's remains cremated, you did not have a "funeral" per se. You are putting her ashes where she wants them to be. You honored all her requests. So I don't believe anybody went against her wishes.
hugs,
Becky
My son had told his brother that if he died he wanted to be cremated and his ashes spread on the football field. Well
we did just that. His friends all met with his siblings, played a game of football that they always did on thanksgiving morning and then had a simple ceremony and scattered some of his ashes there. I gave each of my children and husband some of his ashes to keep or spread in a special place of their choosing. My oldest son and Daren always fished every chance they got--at least 2-3 times a week during fishing season--Dustin plans to spread his ashes at a favorite fishing hole--he feels close to him there. My husband spread them in a major league baseball field (right field) as that was the position he played and always wanted to go to this particular park but never made it. My daughter took "him" with her to Europe.
He wanted to go with her, but died before final plans could be made...she took him along & he has visited numerous countries...she is not back yet, so I will have to find out if she scattered any ashes & where...he would have loved that. I had a memorial service for all his friends, the community, employers & family--that was as much for them as for me. I did get a plot in the local small cemetery as I have had many requests of his friends to have a place to visit with a beautiful granite stone and a friend is building a bench in the spring...
I have a memorial urn for me at home and have some ash to scatter in my garden this spring with my own personal stone.
I will have to make sure it is well weeded--Daren hated weeding, but I spend a lot of time there in the spring & summer.
There is also a roadside memorial cross/wreath & someone put a large carved bear with reflective eyes
(solar panel) on the hillside overlooking the place of the wreckage.
I feel I honored his requests, but so many people needed closure and a place to mourn...I hope I helped them share a part of him.
thank you all again