
Bereavement Support Group
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deleted_user
We lost my Mom almost 10 months ago and have been thru such horrible grief and depression I didn't know if Dad or I were going to make it.
Mom was my best friend and we talked about everything - some things I can't believe I told her! She was my cheerleader, counselor, confidante and more. Plus Mom was a christian, so I knew when I needed advice it would be with a scripture to back it up. I took such comfort in her strength.
Mom and Dad had a beautiful marriage and had just celebrated 51 years together. There have been times in the last few months when I've been afraid Dad would do himself in, he was soooo depressed.
Now, he's finally showing signs of wanting to get on with life, which I think is great, but he's also showing interest in a widow lady at church.
They go to lunch or dinner, ride around the farm or just get together to visit.
I'm really glad he's found someone he likes and can confide in, but at the same time I feel like he's betraying Mom and our family.
Words of wisdom, anyone?
Mom was my best friend and we talked about everything - some things I can't believe I told her! She was my cheerleader, counselor, confidante and more. Plus Mom was a christian, so I knew when I needed advice it would be with a scripture to back it up. I took such comfort in her strength.
Mom and Dad had a beautiful marriage and had just celebrated 51 years together. There have been times in the last few months when I've been afraid Dad would do himself in, he was soooo depressed.
Now, he's finally showing signs of wanting to get on with life, which I think is great, but he's also showing interest in a widow lady at church.
They go to lunch or dinner, ride around the farm or just get together to visit.
I'm really glad he's found someone he likes and can confide in, but at the same time I feel like he's betraying Mom and our family.
Words of wisdom, anyone?
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By the tone of what you have written you seem quite logical about the whole thing. You acknowledge your feelings while at the same time acknowledging your Dad's needs.
I think that's about the best you are going to do to resolve this as your Dad has chosen this behavior and it really isn't your place to stop him.
I understand how hard it is though. My Mum was seriously disabled (mentally ans physically) for nine years before she died. It was hard on my Dad and in that time he met a lovely lady and moved in with her. I found it difficult to accept her for a long time but she became a family friend and still is. They split up a few years before my Dad passed away but remained good friends. I guess that helped.
Life Laugh Love!!!
Shawn
And he can't betray anyone, all that he owes you is being a good Dad.
Please be happy for your father that he had 51 beautiful years with your mother and that he is well enough to possibly have 10-20 more years with another lovely woman. It's his life to live, not yours and if it makes him happy let him be.
I know this is going to sound bad but, leave your dad alone on this subject. You might hurt him more than you think. If he is able to find some one to help him through his grieving, then let it be.
I know that you are having a hard time with it but, he needs to live his own life. And remember that one day he and your mom will be together again. You never know your mom could have told him to move on after she was gone. So I hope you can move on with your life as well. You will always be able to talk to your mom. Just think, what she would tell you, what would her advice be?
May god give you the strength and wisdom you need. Sorry for your loss. Love and hugs your way..... :)
Please, no offense intended, but I'm surprised at some of these replies.
I only wanted to ask how other's have come thru this time of transition, not to imply that I want to stop my dad from moving on or having any happiness in life. I never meant to sound like he should do what I think.
Some of these responses were rather harsh on that end. If we have learned anything, shouldn't it be that we can't tell others how to feel? Just be supportive and encouraging when others ask for help.