I feel like I am just faking everything. Inside I feel so sad and lonely...but I push that aside and make myself be or appear as happy as I can. This is something I have done all my life. Growing up in a home where I was sexually abused I learned at a young age how to hide what I was really feeling. Now it is second nature, I don't mean to do it, it just happens. People ask me how I am and I say I am fine, some of my closest friends know that isn't true. My Grandmother was my safe haven. Losing her strips away all my security. I don't think anyone can understand that. I am exhausted, and sleep doesn't rejuvinate me...I believe it is an emotional exhaustion.
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