Bereavement Support Group

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Constant thoughts

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am trying to get on with my life after losing my dad six months ago. I had my second baby seven weeks ago and since then the flood gates of grief seem to have opened. I think I put my grief on hold, as i was so busy sorting things out when I was pregant and arranging my dads things/funeral. I thought I was doing ok, but can't seem to pick myself off the ground. Finding it hard to cope with two children, but mostly feeling so angry that he is not here and every time i think of him, it's like I have just realised he is not here and it hits me like a ton of bricks.I have never felt hurt like this and being a bit of a control freak who normally helps others with things like this, am getting frustrated with myself for being so glum and feel constant guilt as my poor hubby keeps getting the brunt of it all. Help!!!
dilli
dilli
Jusy having a new baby is hard, your body is dealing with so much...add your Dads passing into the mix and you are feeling just as you should be! It not easy, and every day it will be a struggle..but be kind to yourself, let your grief flow..iys been bottled up for 6 months, so let it out..
My Dad passed in May this year, and I haven't let go yet, like you too much to do, people to support, but i know one day it will break and I will be a basket case..
Use your journal, keep coming here and pour out anything you have to,
we are all struggling, and we are all supporting each other
no answers, but you ae not alone. ((hugs))
deleted_user
deleted_user
thanks dilli. you sound very much like me, always helping others and being STRONG for everyone else. I think thats why its so hard, because I am not used to feeling so vunerable and needy. I have asked to be referred to a counsellor as I think off loading to someone else will make me feel less guilty, as my poor hubby is getting it all, tears, anger, complete moments of madness (lol. Thank for your reply, but don't forgot to take some of your own advice.
dilli
dilli
As I wrote the reply i was thinking..."do what your saying"... but for now I seem to be okay, greif is blocked by everything else that has to be done.
I use my journal everyday..talk to my Dad as if I was on the phone with him..that helps me a lot.... hang in there, we are all here supporting each other and in the process helping ourselves
deleted_user
deleted_user
Awe sweetie....it will take time. Be patient with yourself and try to be patient witht he kids and hubby. Lean on him, and let him be a "soft place for you to fall." Your kids need you, you can do this, just take things slow and easy. When you start to get angry and down, look at that sweet baby, and know that this innocent life needs your love, and try to focus on that. hang with us too! We care. Rainbow
deleted_user
deleted_user
With all that's happened maybe you have some post partum depression going on. Your hormone levels must be completely up and down. My MIL passed 5 days after giving birth to my second child and I had an extremely hard time dealing with the joy of a new baby and then wham, the sadness of a loss. I felt like a yoyo. Please consider the possibility and talk to your doc.
deleted_user
deleted_user
While I can't identify with having a baby, I can identify with that grief. Mine is more current, but I lived with my Mom my whole life, so it's like I've lost half of mine now. I lose it regularly (not publicly but at home), and I don't care. I've lost the best gift God gave me next to Life.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I do understand that you're juggling several emotional issues: loss, new baby and guilt over your husband being on the receiving end of your grieving. But please don't beat yourself up. Think of how proud your Dad would be over his new grandchild - and talk to him about that child. It may help.
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