at the age of 12 my uncle kevin was everythin 2 me my dad wasnt around so i classed him as my dad he was also the only person i cud proparly talk 2 so he was also my best friend aswell as my uncle he was my whole world but on the 13th of october 2003 i lost him i lost everythin my world came crashin down i bottled it up 4 2 years but when my dog, snoopy died i cudnt handle my grief i ran away from home i started self-harming, drinkin, drugs, goin with boys 2 old for me, ect ect but wen my friend nearly diesd from self-harm i realised i dnt want to die i want 2 make my uncle proud but i'm scared i'v ruined that chance i'm 16 i still cant accept he's gone i cant say gdbye my family wouldnt let me see his body 2 say my gdbyes n bcuz of that i'm now pregnant with a loving supportive boyfriend (he is in jail at the moment though so i feel so alone) i hate this feelin i dnt want 2 be depressed when i have my baby. i love my boyfriend and i love our baby but i cnt help feelin dwn at least 1c a day bcuz my uncle isnt here. i also get angry bcuz he had promised me he wud never leave me like ma real dad (his brother) he promised he'd always be here 4 me when i needed him well wer the hell av u been the last 4yrs uncle kev???? n i no my dad was only tryin 2 help but he got him the job wer my uncle died he told him 2 do other peoples jobs so he could get a contract he told him 2 stay on jst 1 more week so they could come home together n see me and my brother but bcuz of thet my uncle died. relatives r NOT ment 2 be alowed on the same oil rig so why the hell wer they both on it? i hate transoceans for wot they'v done and even though i would never say this to my real father but i will never forgive him either!!!!!
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