It seems to take quite awhile for the reality to sink in. When my MIL passed in June, I was with her. I helped the nurse prepare her for the funeral home. I saw them take her from the apartment. We had a short viewing before the service. I cleaned out her apartment and turned in the keys. I was a beareer at her funeral. I visited the cemetary a week later, and the date of death was on the stone, and the ground was dirt, not grass. For every legal matter that came up I had to handle her death certificate. With all of that I still could not believe she was gone.
Maybe Thursday it will hit me, as the holiday was a big deal for her. Maybe CHristmas will be the time, as we always had it at her house. I'm still waitng to know, that I know, that she is really gone. How do you convince yourself, you don't. SOmething happens down the line that does that for you. I'm still waiting for that "thing."
Rainbowmama

I dont think you ever come to terms with losing someone as close to you as your father, u just learn to adapt to the situation and except they are not around. Everybody's route to exceptance is different you shouldn't worry about how long it takes you and how you grieve there is no rule, let your emmotions wave over you and take every day as it comes. It may be that your way of dealing with your grief is to carry him in your heart as if hes still here which i think is the best way, just take everyday as it comes and dont worry about where you feel you 'should' be it will happen in its own time ...x

It takes a year for it to be "real"--before that, it's all shock, even with the reality of seeing the body and dealing with the details of a funeral. You don't need to convince yourself of anything--just continue your journey of healing and you will come to terms with the loss in your own way.

I'll agree that, for the first year, it's SURREAL. Then, after that, it becomes real and you have to learn to live with the emptiness in your heart, which I'm trying to fill by meeting new people such as yourself on this site! The reality is that life is transitory, and only the here and now is real. But, if it eases your mind and soul to "pretend" that your dad is still here, do that. And let the tears flow when they want to. You can't emotionally shut yourself off forever--it'll eat away at you. There's no instruction manual on grief, but we're here for each other, so that's a good start!

"Have I gone mad? I know he's dead but I dont believe it."

- I've often thought the same thing. My Mom had an open casket, I saw her. It's still not real... I still expect to get a call from her.

Your not alone hun, I here a lot of people go through this. Including myself.

I remember my cousin calling out to my uncle "Dad do you want a coffee?" - and I thought to myself that I will never be able to say that again. Well guess what? I do - lol! Of course, only when I am by myself! It makes me feel better. I talk to Dad all the time and a part of me actually believes that he can hear what I am saying! It makes me feel that Dad is still part of my daily life and always will be.