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Anyone know how to dissapear?

deleted_user
deleted_user
OK...so I think everything is hitting me at once. My best friend and I got in a huge fight the other day and we aren't talking...my dearest friend from school, with whom I was supposed to move in with, just exploded on me today out of anger over a minor disagreement between us, because of a tumultuous family situation she's dealing with. We were supposed to move into a house together, and she just sent me an email that "now is not the right dynamic" and we shouldn't live together. This is after I have given my notice, am living in a crime-ridden area where I feel unsafe, and was counting on feeling secure in a new place. Also, my guy friend, whom I am in love with and dated for quite a while, hurt me deeply tonight. And on top of trying to deal with my Dad's pasing, I am working 35 hours a week while I attend law school full time. I am also the only one in my family trying to put forth this medical malpractice suit against my Dad's doctors over his death. The pressure is killing me. I won't get into any more of the drama.

I just know that I have been trying to hold myself together for so long and now I feel it all unraveling. And I know everything seems worse when you're upset. But, it's when things like this happen, and I feel no support, that I realize how hurt I am over my Dad's loss. Right now, I wish there was some way to dissapear so I wouldn't feel so deeply sad. I wish I could move to an island far away and just be...not have to be responsible, and hold myself together.

Does anyone know how to dissapear?
dilli
dilli
I wish i knew how to fade away .... but I can't .... sorry i can't help you, but maybe just knowing there are others that feel the same as you do might at least make you feel your not alone. ((((hugs)))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wish I was harry potter sometimes. But I'm not, a lot of us feel like you.

Hugs :)
Isabel
alicea
alicea
I would have loved to have used the dissapearing act so many times but it always comes back to the situation just being right back in your face. You have so much to deal with right now. I wish you all the strength to get thru. LOve, Alice
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know that old saying when it rains it pours? Its the truth or murphys law, when anything can go wrong it will and at the worse possible time.

I don't know anyway to disappear but if you find one please let me know.

Hang in there though. Take one day at a time. When we are hurting things sometimes seem worse than they are.

One thing though I must say. I know your unhappy where you are staying right now and if its unsafe then really you need to get out. But look into that friendship. A true friend takes a minor disagreement and will blow it off for what it is. If she doesn't want to move in with you over that I would reconsider the whole situation. Friends stay by you even though they get mad at you, and may not like what you said and will tell you so, but they are alway by your side reguardless. Just my advice. Take care and wish you much luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks, everyone. It would be so nice to move to a remote island somewhere for a few years. I wish...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Obviously, this is worse than a hell year for you...it's been an explosive-decompression year. We are here for you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow... that is a lot to take on at once. I understand how you feel, when I had a fight with boyfriend and best girlfriend stood me up. It was more apparent to me more than ever that I felt alone without my Mom in the world. I've noticed with my grief, I can't handle very much stress.

I do have to commend you for taking on the mal-practice suit, working full time and school...wow!

))HUGS(( to you and praying it gets better
deleted_user
deleted_user
Perhaps you could try to disappear for short amounts of time in the form of meditation. Spend quiet times alone, and get some relaxation CDs or a meditation DVD.
Would it be possible for you to get away for a weekend somewhere, or spend a day at a day spa? When there is no one to take care of you, you need to shift into "self-care" mode. I hope the pressure releases soon, you have way too much weight on your shoulders. Sending huggs, Rainbow
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm still trying to figure that one out myself. How nice it would be.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, I know how to disappear. You rent a cozy little cabin somewhere and spend three days and two nights in absolute peace and quiet. During the day you hike and at night you sit in front of a crackling fire with a glass of wine. It's amazing what that can do for your central nervous system. It sounds like your plate is VERY full and that you need to retreat from your responsibilities for a few days. If you aren't in a position to take a mini vacation, perhaps you could arrange to take a day off and catch up on your sleep, take the phone off the hook, unplug the television, and let life slow down. Your friend is shi**y to back out of your agreement after you've already made arrangements to move, but perhaps that is for the best since your living together may have been a constant drama and it would distract you from school and work. Take some time to focus on all that you do have in your life, you are blessed in many ways, and try to take each problem and view it separately. There are times where we all have so many things going on simultaneously that we get overwhelmed and feel like our entire life is too much. It's only when you have had rest and can clear your head that you get your perspective back. I hope you can find that cabin or that day off. Take care.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sweetie- if I did I wouldnt be tere myself.
Hold tight to your Daddy's memory and know that he IS there with you....My son came to me in a dream and told me that when we talk to him he DOES hear us-everything we say- he just can't communicate back to us like we want....and I believe that. Your Dad is there with you, hun. Be Strong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You can't sweetheart, because you are strong and you will get through this..... I am sorry you feel so alone but we will support you look at what you can put back a bit to take the pressure of you for a bit - remember that your friend(s) will also calm down. The only other piece of advice i can offer is one my mum gave me - pick the battles you can win and/or are important to you.... the rest will wait. XxX
Hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think Maura had really good advice. With all that is going on in your life a "day off" from all of it sounds like the thing to do. A whole weekend would be even better. It won't fix anything but it will give you a respite from it. I would add a good "trashy book with no socially redeeming value" to the wine and fire. We are here for you and your Dad is pulling for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hahahaha I love the comment from Bamma13--"a good trashy book with no socially redeeming value"--sorry MissmyDad but I need the book recommendation for myself. There are times when we all need to "check out" from the daily grind and just gel a little. I had a thought about your situation only because I've wondered the same thing about myself (and please don't take this as super assertive :-) but has it ever occurred to you that since you lost your Dad, you might be trying to fill that loss with your friends? I know that since I lost my mother, I sometimes call my friends hoping that they will be as caring and available as she was, and am sometimes disappointed because they are busy with their own lives and don't have the time or energy to listen to me when I really need to vent? It's just damned hard that no one can ever fill that hole left by the loss of a parent, who would always be there, to listen, to lecture, to sympathize, to understand. We might have a friend or lover who is willing to be there for us, but can they ever fill that hole? Sorry, maybe I am only speaking for myself. I don't know, just a thought. I know you miss your Dad and I miss my Mom and there is just nothing that can take that place. Hey Bamma13, we are all waiting for the tile of that trashy, great-escape novel.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I loved the trashy vook idea. :) I'm not sure about right now trying to fill the void with friends. I think I did do that at the beginning and over time, as I realize, like you said maura45 that no one can really fill that void, I've kind of retreated. I definitely tried reaching out to fill my sadness hole, but when I realized it can never be filled, I think I gave up. I actually feel like I've kind of dosconnected myself from my Dad's death. I feel like it makes my friends uncomfortable when I cry, or lose it, so I just talk about my feelings in this really casual way. My friend even asked me the other night, "Do you cry anymore about your Dad?"

I do cry by myself, and a few friends have pryed some tears ot of me recently, but I think part of me on survival mode. It's only when life gets way overwhelming that I lose it. :( It's weird to be conscious that I am disconnected and not be able to do anything about it. I feel like I'm very self-aware. But, I haven't been able to get really close to my friends since this happened. :/
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