
Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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I just wrote a letter to my friend who is battling cancer. I told her I can't deal with let downs anymore, and that things have changed between us. She was like a second mother to me, and now, I am taking steps back to protect myself from more pain. I don't know what to do about it. Am I being selfish for wanting to try to move on with my life? I haven't seen her for months now, and we never talk...
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Your gut always tells you what the right thing is to do. A counselor once told me, "If you have to ask, you already know the answer, you just don't like it."
Take Care.
All I can gather is that you were close to this woman, now she has life threatening cancer, you have experienced a great deal of pain recently, you do not feel you could deal with her pain and you have told her that.
I am wondering if she actually asked you for help. Have you had a falling out? Are you able to be there for her at all? Is not being there for her in some capacity going to bring you more pain later if and when she passes away? What sort of person is she? Is she a particularly needy personality that you do not think you could handle at this time. (Anyone would be forgiven for being somewhat needy when they have a life threatening illness) I don't expect you to answer any of my questions I am just considering what criteria I would use to make this decision.
When my granddaughter who lived with me killed herself the only friend I called was Connie. We had been (I thought and she had said) best friends for 30+years. Even tho we now live in different states we stayed close and shared many things. After my call to her I never had a phone call, card or even an email from her for four months. I also have a daughter who came to her neice's funeral, stayed to herself and left as soon as possible. She has called me only twice since the funeral. I had always considered my friend and my daughter to be sensitive and caring persons but now I realize that they "couldn't be concerned about me or how I feel"
My mother always told me
A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed..
All others aren't worthy of mention.
right.
i can see it's your way of dealing with it. but force yourself to be there for her
And keep in mind, there's always some pain when we have people in our lives that we care about.