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Am I crazy?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I CANNOT get out of this blackness

I thought if I just tried to make others laugh and feel better, I could get my smile back.

I thought if I could use little 3 year old Peter as inspiration, I could get my smile back.

I thought if I could help someone, I could get my smile back.

NOTHING!

My Paxil has worked for me for 10 years. Is it too low? If I increase it, I am lethargic and non-functioning. Do I need to change it?

I have nothing. I feel...actually I don't feel...well, I do feel but it's always sad or desparate or paranoid. I just cannot get anywhere to do anything...except for choir practice.

Please help me...everything is closing in...or is it? I need to call my Doctor, but I can't. I just can't. I don't know why. Am I going crazy? Am I? What if the answer is "Yes"? I get put away and forgotten by strangers on top of being forgotten by family or friends.

I have to get out of this apartment, it's just too small...but where else can I go? I can't afford anything else. I have to get out but I cna't even leave to go get groceries.

*tears* *sigh*

God, please carry me. I'm just so tired.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe it's time to change your medication? I don't think you're crazy at all, I think that your body has built up an immunity to the drug you've been on for 10 years. Talk to your Dr ASAP, being depressed sucks. Good luck to you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
HONEY YOU'RE NOT CRAZY.I TRIED PAXIL ONCE AND I HAD THOSE THOUGHTS.PAXIL IS AN OLD DRUG. THERE ARE SO MANY NEW THINGS OUT THER.JUST DON'T STOP TAKING IT YOU'LL GET VERY SICK.CALL YOUR DR.AND ASK HIM TO SWITCH YOU SAFELY FROM THE PAXIL TO SOMETHING ELSE.YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON AND YOU'RE NOT HAPPY THAT MAKES YOU SANE.WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU ALOT OF US WITH SIMILAR PROBLEMS,BUT WITH HELP WE CAN CHANGE BY TAKING BABY STEPS AND ENJOYING THE BEAUTY OF LIFE. TAKE CARE LUV PIXIE311
deleted_user
deleted_user
your not crazy, sorry to see that you are so down, here if you need to talk
deleted_user
deleted_user
Call you doc, don't be afraid. Levels might need to be changed, and the side effects like drowsiness go away after a week or two. Don't suffer, get the help you need. Huggs, Rainbow
deleted_user
deleted_user
i agree!!! dont suffer through what could be made better. call your doc and tell him about the way you are feeling.....dont wait too long ok~toni
deleted_user
deleted_user
Everyone's been giving you great advice. You're not crazy...If you were, you wouldn't be asking. Instead, you're reaching out for solutions.

Sometimes, meds are a help, and sometimes not really the answer. I have to agree with those who've told you to change meds or the dosage but I'm not in favor of them. I'm also not a doctor, so can't give you the intelligent answer.

I can tell you you're as upset as we all are, so you're in good company. You've just reached a stage where the grief is overwhelming. You need to talk/be with people. You need support. And if you feel that everything is closing in, it may not be the apt. Just walk outside or go somewhere that you think might help.

Are there grief counseling groups in your area? While this one is great for being here 24/7, sometimes we need to sit, talk and cry - yes, cry - with others in our shoes. I can't tell you how many are feeling what we are. You're not crazy!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Lots of good replies here. I don't think you're crazy either. You're seeking help, which is a good thing. I can relate to being frozen when it comes to seeking medical care. My husband has been on my back for 2 years about my yearly physical, mammogram, etc. I just can't seem to make the call. I'm not currently on meds for depression. I was on Wellbutrin for a while when our daughter was alive. I couldn't stand the way I had to worry about OTC drugs interacting with it. So I weaned off and have never taken anything else for depression. It does sound like a good idea to call your doctor and try a new drug though. I feel like I'm saying, "Do as I say, not as I do" though. Hang in there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you all for your advice...I took 15 mg of Remeron to help me sleep and to help with the extra anxiety...I have just gotten out of bed about a half hour ago...My plan is to call the doc. I cna't believe how incredibly monumentally hard that seems to be able to do. I tried posting some stuff in depression...got a quick laugh got a quick smile but it doesn't last, so I know I need more than a joke or a silly story to help me, but...

Okay...I'm trying...thank you again for your advice and encouragement...

Just a side thoguht here...maybe some prayers from you all???? if you pray...
ty
deleted_user
deleted_user
My prayers are with you! I completely understand how you feel. If you need to talk anytime, please feel free to contact me. I agree with the others. You should try and get to the Doc, so you can get your Meds right. I know how heavy things feel now, but you can do it! Let us know how your doing.
All My Best!!
Big Hugs~ Ireland
koolman
koolman
What works for me is EMBRACING the blackness. Try to look for God or some kind of spirit in there. The very thing we're afraid of CAN bring us comfort once we get used to it. I'm opposed to taking any kind of medication, but, if Paxil isn't working, maybe it's time to switch meds. I suggest you talk to your doctor ASAP; don't let this continue another day!
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