I have read many discussions that involve the death of a loved one due to illness. Although the pain is just as great, I find myself wishing that an illness is what took my father rather than a car accident. At least then I would have known it was coming and would have had a chance to say I love you and give him a hug. Instead of, on a prefectly normal day in Aug I get a call that he is gone. Killed alomst instantly after the crash. All that circles through my mind are the what ifs. What if he would have gone straight home? What if the light would have been green instead of red? What if his meeting ran jsut a little late? So many...I know that a person can drive themselves insane going through all the what ifs but what keeps these questions at bay?
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