Bereavement Support Group
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I have a problem about being alienated from my dying father. It is very hard for me to tell the story, and I am not sure I have the courage. This involves a lot, mostly that a caregiver went in and took control of my fathers care plan,gained custody of everything, and alienated me and my brother from dad. I live 3,000 miles away from him, and am dealing with my husbands cancer as well. This is very sad, because I was not able to say goodbye to my mom either, and now I cant say goodbye to daddy. Does anyone have the same issues? I want to do something about it, but do not have the time or the money...I am dealing with my husbands bone cancer. Am I supposed to just let my alienation from dad and mom, and my husbands cancer ruin my life. I feel that my brother and sister are very guilty of not taking up for me against the caregiver when it comes to dad, and I have a hard time dealing with it. I have contacted agencies to help me, and there is nothing that can be done. Letters, etc. have been returned to me....I havent even been able to say Happy Fathers Day to him for two years.
littlefrong
littlefrong
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
One day as I was standing in my bedroom,
Brownie came in, with a smile on his face
Are you ready for school, young lady.?.
Did you do your chores? How about a boiled egg before seminary.??
Daddy loved boiled eggs, and knew how to cook them well.
It was the only thing he could cook in those days.
Hence, my love for boiled eggs.
Funny to note that when I am sad, I will eat boiled eggs.
The memories are long and lovely.
The days are filled with smiles at his silly jokes, his never ending stories.
I would sit silently and watch this Big Man tell me stories of walking to school
In snowstorms.
My eyes would raise in frustration as I heard that one
You girls have it too easyIn my day, we were so poor, that my Grandma Witteveen scraped crumbs off the supper table to feed starving birds.We wasted nothing
Later on , my favorite story of his and moms courtship.
The story of the cat that he found to impress the pretty girl in the car at the Dixie Pig.
Dad would say, That darned Cat!!
The stories of his marriage and honeymoon, the baby boy born to them several years later.
Stories of his Flying days during the war.
Everyone loves his stories.
Then the death of another baby.
The adoption of two tiny girls.
Those two girls are now grandmothers.
The love, the spankings, and the pats on the shoulder.
The laughter at the dinner table
The tears of his girls when he was unhappy with them, OH, those spankings!!!!.
I hated it when he got angry.
The family nightsThe parties, the fun.
Then, later on, feeling protective of my father.
The roles were reversed, the misunderstandings when he was ill.
The alienation of someone who loved him so much, but could
Do nothing to help.
The lonelinessWhere is my hero now?
After moms death, where was the one who took care of things???.
Helping me when I had problems..Where was the one who has
Held me up and supported me, right or wrong.
He was in there somewhere, but the disease finally took over.
Daddy, it is time for you to fly away.
Brownie, you are needed away from this place.
To no longer feel lonely, to no longer feel confused.
No indignities, no tears for your sweetheart.
You will join her soon
As I looked at my father a few years ago, I realized something funny.
I am taller than him
I am bigger than him.
I never noticed that before.
Daddy, take off in your Spezio Two-Holer now, and fly free.
YOU are home.
Jeannie