I got this from the book 'Acts of Faith' by Iyanla Vanzant- 1993 copyright. Instead of page numbers the book has dates. This is from September 30th. I read it several times a day and I think it is really starting to sink in.
"When we lose a loved one to death or end a longterm relationship, it is perfectly normal to greive. We must honor and recognize each stage of the grief and every emotion we have. There will be shock, denial, anger, confusion, fear, helplessness, numbness, and eventually, acceptance. There will be a point when we do not know what to do, but we want to do something. At this point we must understand and accept, there is not death; there is not end; there is only transformation. Our loved one now exists in a new time, new place, new reality -and so do we. The relationship as we knew it has been transformed from the physical to the spiritual, from marriage to separation, from loveship to friendship; it has not ended; it has changed. When we allow ourselves to grieve, we release the negative thoughts and emotions that make it easier to accept the change. When we do not grieve, we get stuck. Grief is natural, normal and to be expected. We owe it to ourselves and the memory of the relationship to grieve and cleanse our soul."