I'll never forget the day we died. My son took his last breath on December 11th. Along with his last breath, a part of my heart died. I feel dead inside - I am but a shell living here - living life- just waiting until it is my turn and I join him. How do I go on - how do I find peace - how do I live without my child. Life is hard and it doesn't make sense. Why are children taken from their mothers - why must we live in a world where children die? Is it my fault for not being good enough or was it truly his time? Why not my time - I wonder daily what I could have done different. What decisions could have changed the outcome. What road I took that lead us here. If I wouldn't have, I shouldn't have, and I could of - doesn't change anything - so why do I continually blame myself???
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