I lost my husband five years ago. He was 36. We were divorced but he was still a huge part of my and my kids life. He was an alcoholic and I decided after five years of marriage that I couldn't raise my children in that kind of environment. I regret that to this day. I truly believe that he was my one true love. He is the only person who has treated me the way I deserve to be treated. What is also hard, is I don't believe I deserved that from him. I loved him very much, but I don't think I gave him what he deserved. He was a good man and I miss him everyday. I look at my daughter and see so much of her dad in her. I am very upset that my son was almost too young to remember what a wonderful father he was. He will not have the memories he deserves. I think alot about how my life would be so different if he was still here and in our lives. I became a different person the day he died. It took my soul and my spirit and I feel like I have been on a down hil spiral ever since. I do live my life, I just wanted it to be different. My dreams died with him.
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