Hi. I feel sad to be joining this community. I haven't had anyone close to me die since I was 12 years old when my best friend died in a plane crash. Yesterday morning I found out that my mom's best friend, whom I grew up with, died in a car accident. She was 36 years old. I feel so upset and sad that I feel like I'm going to go insane. I must have been in shock yesterday because I don't remember a lot of the conversations I had and a lot of the things I did. I know that the grieving process happens in steps. I know that I will grieve and be upset at first and that eventually I will accept her death. But today, it's not happening. I am so angry. I wanted to see her one last time. Tell her so many things. I am very spiritual and I know that I can tell her everything I have wanted to tell her right now. That she can hear me. But not getting a response in return is killing me. She left her daughter behind. I feel so bad for her. The circumstances surrounding her death were so terrible. I just feel devastated. I know that eventually I'll be ok. I hope so anyway. Sorry to have written so much. The words were just flowing out. Anyways, I hope I can find some support here. Thank you for listening.