Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

I need help

deleted_user
deleted_user
It's been just over 5 weeks since my mom passed away and I think I've been holding up pretty well so far. I did go to the doctor and get Cymbalta and Kolopin but it's not working very well. I know it takes time to get into your system, but damn already!!

Today I woke up crying in my sleep. I cried in the shower. I cried in the car. I'm crying at work. I cried fighting with my husband. I can't stop. I don't want to be at work but when I came back after mom's memorial service, they forced me to sign a paper saying if I missed any days, they'd fire me (I was 12 weeks shy of qualifying for FMLA and missed 2.5 weeks taking care of her). I can't concentrate on anything. I get home in the evenings, lay on the couch, pass out for a few hours then get up and go straight to bed. Today I feel like I driving as fast as I can and wrapping my car around a tree. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I don't fit it at work anymore. I don't fit in with my family. I don't fit in with myself. I'm not going to do anything to hurt myself...maybe punch a wall or something...but nothing drastic. I just want to disappear for a while. I want to miss my mom but it's like people won't let me. They tell me "we knew this was coming...everyone else had time to prepare for it". And that "she'd be pissed if she knew I was acting the way I'm acting". I have no control over it. I can't smile...I can't laugh. I haven't laughed in over a month. It hurts to laugh.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry about your Mom. I lost my Mom also, so I know how it feels. Even if you "know it's coming", I don't believe you're ever "prepared" for it. And it hurts just the same. Everything you are feeling is normal, it hasn't been that long, please just give yourself time. ((hugs))
eileenR
eileenR
I wish I had the words to make you chuckle today. But since I don't know really know what to say. I am sorry, you feel this way. I know the feeling and you are not alone. We all have those volcano of tears flow at one time or another. But remember it is ok to cry. It is ok to feel the hurt. It is part of the grief. And even know people tell me that, I feel a little frustrated too. I too want the crying to stop. So my suggestion to you would to be let it out and don't worry about the tears. Also rent a comedy and laugh a little at it. I will pray for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i know how your feeling i had to work quite a bit myself i cant get comfortable either i started to see a therapist but its too soon to start working im on ativan myself and about to start an anti depressant i know you hurting and nothing feel the same my dad died 2 months ago i havent been the same since but im hoping it will get better hand in there sweetie im here if you need to talk
deleted_user
deleted_user
My dad passed away just two weeks ago, and I had a day just like yours yesterday, where I woke up in such a terrible mood, I had no motivation, but I forced myself to go to work... I made it there, and was ready to punch in and I started crying and couldn't stop for the rest of the day, up until I took a sleeping pill and went to bed... and my boss wasn't very sympathetic, and told me that she needed me there, and if I couldn't do my job that I needed to go home, but it would black mark my attendance... I can only miss one more day of work from now until July or else I'll get fired, so I know how frustrated you feel about work... it does sometimes feel like no one cares about your problem, but also remember, there are those who DO care. We care about you, and hope that you can pull through with us. I'm learning day-by-day that the nice people here in this site are willing to listen and lend a shoulder whenever it's needed, so spend some time here and hopefully you'll start to pick your chin up and get ready to face the world again with a smile on your lips.

I hope you have a good day soon, okay? You'll be in my thoughts today.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wish we could help you make sense of this thing and make the pain bearable. The truth is that it is ugly and terrible to lose a person you have filled your life with no matter the circumstances. But your mom was a beautiful part of your life, I can hear that in your devastating words. Even while you miss her she is still with you in the things she shared with you and enjoyed in this life. If she liked the sunshine, put it on your face and let her touch you. Let us listen - we can take it and still come back for more. We will hold you up for a while if you let us. I will be thinking about you and hope to send you some strength.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I just wanted to say I am very sorry for your loss.
Also, don't let people tell you how to grieve. Everyone grieves differently. What is good for one is not necessarily good for another. It has only been a little over a month for you. When you lose someone so close you will never get over it. With time you will learn to cope better as you talk with others and process through it all. By all means express your feelings in the best way that you can so that they understand. The worst thing you could do is to bottle it up.
I will say a prayer for you today
Hugs,

Tim (Jenaes Dad)
http://jenae.gallegos.home.att.net
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am really sorry for your loss I understand your pain as i lost my mum in June - i just wanted to go to sleep for ever, i didnt want to harm myself i just didnt want to be anymore.... my thoughts are with you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how you feel about not fitting in with anybody -including family. This is what hurts so much - that I feel so very alone in this and that nobody really cares or wants to hear about my pain and loss. I make it to work but barely and when I am home, I just want to sleep or cry.It has only been two weeks for me. Know that we are here and it is ok to grieve - what we are going through is not normal and I would not wish it on any of those that treat us like it is.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so very sorry to hear about your Mom.

I don't care how much preparation a person has ... nothing will prepare you for the loss of someone you care about. Nothing.

I am not sure it was legal for your work to make you sign such a paper... I might want to check into that.

You need your time to grieve and mourn. I forgot who posted about that... they aren't the same.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please don't listen to the ugly words people are saying, they use them because they don't know how to "help" and so they just want you to stop. Your mum would understand, of course she would and I doubt she would be mad. She would fix whatever soothing food was your fav from childhood, or do whatever was your routine and use the words to make it all better. It sounds as if you had a lot of strain and worry before she passed and that takes a lot out of a body as well as the soul. If your body is tired it's tired. Thats ok. I imagine you were not taking care of yourself well during that time and it is going to take a while for your body to recover. Please just do what you need to to stay employed, keep your kids (or whatever) together but take the rest of the time for yourself and if that means sleeping or taking a sledge hammer to a block of concrete then so be it. I hate to use the time honored phrase of 'time heals' because it doesn't in a lot of ways BUT in some ways it does. It makes the hole in your chest less painful, it helps you find the smile you have lost and, it will eventually lift the sleepiness. You will be ok. you will find the way you fit in life's puzzle. It just might not be the same way it was before.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Everything you wrote decribes what I have been feeling for the last 6 months accept I like to go to work. My work have been the most symphanthic. My Mom just lived for 1 month after she was diagnosed so didn't have much time to prepare as soon as my boos heard the news he caame to me and told me to call a temp in to take my place for as long I needed off, as it happened I ended up just taking off about 3 weeks but it meant so much. Just wait till the people you work with have to go throught what you are going through they will feel different. hang in there and lean on the people that care all of us here.
xxx
Needful
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm soooo sorry honey that ur hurting so! I've losta little boy but not my mom so I don't exactly know hoe ur feeling honey, but I know LOSS and GRIEF and this is still so new for you that you must be patient with yourself and give urself time to grieve in WHATEVER way you wanta do it!! Just DO NOT hurt urself! This old world NEEDS you and we here, on this site, NEED you! Ur hubby needs you as well. Take one HOUR at a time sweetheart!U are in my heart now and you will ALWAYS be in my prayers. Much love, EMT (Ryans Mommy-Teresa)
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