And I'm still broken.
I'm 30 years old and I lost my mom when I was 15 due to an illness known as Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. Recently, my 73 year old father has had some mishaps causing me great concern for his well being. He lives alone and now I have to intervene.
Brief backstory, before the medical staff pulled the plug on my Mom 15 years ago, I made a promise to her that I would take care of my Dad and that she wouldn't have to worry.
Here I am, 30 years old, married and feeling like I'm a child again. I'm broken, my marriage is strained and I don't know what to do. She would. She always did.
Now here I am without her. Dying on the inside as every day passes that I relive watching her pass away in front of me, helplessly. Feeling like a failure because I haven't been there for my Dad like I promised.
Now, I'm watching my dad become more and more dependent upon me, helplessly...
im pretty ok during the day. But when night hits is when the black moods come. And I don’t know how to fix that. Does this happen to anyone else?