I lost my father two years ago. And it as hard today as it was two years. My family doesn't even know exactly what happened. He went missing and two weeks later they found dead in the woods. Most think it's suicide, but I don't know if I really want to believe that or not. I was pretty much your typical teenager. I wouldn't listen to him, and I tried to disobey him at all costs. I regret doing this because I feel like it was somewhat my fault that he's not here today. For the longest time, my own family would tell me that I WAS the cause of his death. And that's something that will probably rest on my shoulders for the rest of my life. When I first lost him, I tried covering up how much it hurt me with laughter. Today, i'm trying to deal with it, but it's hard. I don't hide it as much anymore, but i've come to realize I can't control my own emotions anymore. And every time I meet a guy, I try to hold on for dear life, and most of my friends think it is because there is an absence of a male figure in my life. With all this said, I want to try to not be so depressed about his death, and accept the fact that he is in a better place. I know he would want me to go on & live my life to the fullest, and not grieve over the past. Any suggestions or comments?
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