He was 16 and took overdose of drugs. It was horrible! I don't think I can and ever will get over it or stop missing him, thinking about him, dreaming about him. When I meet 16yr old boys it alwys makes me sad for some reason and makes me miss my brother. He would be 24 now. I was left alone to deal with my druggy mom and her druggy boyfriends. It makes me angry. I wish I could've helped him in some way at the time or told him how much I loved him and didn't want him to die and leave me here. But I was so young, I didn't understand what he was going through. I need him and miss him and wish he never felt so bad that he thought the only way was to leave this world. I try and stay away from hard drugs now myself because never want to end up like him or my mom or my dad who went to prison. God will the hurt every go away? I feel I'm gonna have this with me for the rest of my life. This pain in my heart, this longing and guilt. It really sucks sh--!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??