well im just gonna start of by saying my best friend is gone forever its a long story but its crazy and i want to join him because i miss him so much.my friend and i were street racers and would race for money and build cars together and do all sorts of stuff. it was the life it was like the fast and the furious but better. yea untill my buddy started messing with the Mafia. he stole like 120,000 cash and a trunk full of cocaine yea i dont know what the hell he was thinking and he didnt tell me anything all he said was i need at least 100,000 for us to build a new car because he just totaled the one we finished. he said he had a way to get the cash but i though he was just joking we had plenty of cash saved up but he said no i dont want to spend that money im saving it. so anyways we met up at one of our spots and he showed me what he had and i was like dude thats cocaine your a street racer not a drug dealer.i told him i would take car of it and have my uncle talk to these people because my uncle is a very well known and powerful man. so one day we decided to do some racing. well i was working that day and i work at some of my dads supermarkets and stuff in detroit. well he came and picked me up from thier and we were in his car. he told me to drive because i am the better driver and he gets nervous when we run from the cops and its pretty easy for me to get away when your in a car build better and faster than nascar. well i was driving and i pulled up to a red light. i guess he was being followed. then all of a sudden i see this black envoy with tinted windows pull up next to me and then pass me up a little then they roll down the windows and shoot out the whole car. i was out of thier in a heartbeat. my Boy was hitand blood was everywhere all over me and the windshield and just everywhere i couldnt see a thing thier was so much blood in my eyes and out of all people my best friends blood that i grew up with in dypers. he was screaming and then all of a sudden it was quiet. i lost controll of the car and went right through an abondoned garage. i can tell you the rest of what happened for personal reasons. but i still dont understand why i didnt get hit. why couldnt it have been me not him.i get crazy just thinking about it i just want revenge so bad.i cant keep this inside any longer. thats why i wrote this. because i try to cry and i cant i guess thats because some people call me a cold blooded person but no matter how hard i try and try and try to get it out and cry or do something but i cant. its driving me crazy inside. its all a matter of time before i go too. its crazy and if i tell you the rest of my life story you youell be amazed like how i served 10 months in juvy and went to boot camp. omg thats nothing you should hear the stuff i cant tell you. messed up life i know and an even more messed up kid. i dont belong hear on earth anymore. i feel so guilty for my friends death. why did this have to happen. i was like the nicest person growing up. what happened to me! i dont know! and it kills me because i have flashbacks of that day and my whole body shuts down. i cant sleep because of all these nightmares i have because i was kidnapped as a kid and torchered.
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