It's been almost a year since my cousin died. She didn't just die, she killed herself. She was bi-polar. Her parents are divoriced. Texas custody law made her chose who she lived with year after year. Last summer she was with her dad down in Texas. Don't get me wrong, she loved her dad and he loved her. Anyway, she went off her meds for over a month- they were totally out of her system. She was hanging out with old friends, they were bad for her. She got into drugs. She wasn't a bad person, she really wasn't, please don't think she was. But she stole some money from her dad and used it to buy drugs. She realized she'd messed up big time, so she tried to make it up. She went straight to her dad and fessed up. It turned into a screaming match. He stormed out of the house to find out just how much money she had taken. He kept a loaded gun in the house. She took it and ran. She always was impulsive. A few days later the police found her body, she'd shot herself in the head. It's been hell. Now It's comming up on the one year mark of all of this. Some say it's complicated- my uncle is her step-dad, her mom my aunt, but i say family is family and I love my family so much (not my parents, but that's a differant story). I wish there was something I could do. I've been with them through this, it feels like. I was there for the first holiday with out her (thanksgiving), I was there for Christmas, I'm around for this. I wasn't alowed at the funeral in Texas, but I was at the memorial service up here in Washington (state). It's such a hard time for all of us. Sorry this is so long. I just feel so lost and alone.
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