my boyfriend nickolas hung himself 1 year ago. ive been through alot of abuse and he was the only one i could tell everything. he had problems too. his dad yould beat him. one night he called me and sounded upset. he asked me to come over. i went to leave and my drunk father beat me and raped me that night. i went over to nickolases the next morning. i went upstairs to find that he hung himself in his room. he wrote a note to me asking me why i didnt come over. he thought that i didnt love and care about him anymore. everytime i think of him i know that its my fault that he's gone. i havent been in a relationship since then. i have this huge amount of guilt.
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