since i was little i had this fear of looking at someone dead. everytime i would go to a funeral i would be so nervous when i went home. 4 years ago i went to my grandma's funeral and my fear was pretty bad then. just yesterday i went to my friends funeral. he was 16. i haven't talked to him in 2 years but he was still a part of my life until i quit school. i thought i would be fine going because lately i've felt at peace with death since i've been reading the bible more and stuff. but after i saw him and went home all those fears came back. i couldn't sleep last night even though i was so tired and couldn't hold my eyes open. everytime i would fall asleep i would start twitching and picturing him in his coffin. i tried to stay awake until it was light outside so i would feel more comfortable. i was so paranoid. a couple times when i would fall asleep i guess i started dreaming and i felt like i was him in his coffin. it was so weird. i can't even eat because everytime i try to i start picturing him dead and it makes me feel sick. i feel bad for feeling this way but i can't help it. anyone have any advice to help me get through this?
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