It's hard enough when the most important person in your life dies... but knowing their was more you could of done to stop it.. it has been 781 days since my dad died of cancer in 05.. and it hasn't got easier.. everyone said it would. and nothing can get rid of this guilt... i knew for years my dad had lung cancer.. but i was quite young when i found out so didn't really understand it... and he never liked spking about it even when i was a bit older.. but i did go to his hospital appointments with him as he hated them... he couldn't stand the thought of me havin to look after him so he reused to have chemo... and... i really didn't do enough to change his mind.. i could o stopped him dying.. but whats even worse... one day when i was sitting on his bed just praying he would change his mind... i said... i wished he would stop being in pain... then i heard the long beeeeeeeeeeep of the life support mashine.... i was taken out the room wile they tried to ressusetate him... it dindn't work... he's dead and it's all my falt... how can i stop this feeling of guilt??
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