Hey there,My name is sharon,i come from a family of six kid,s sadly when i was 12yrs my sister who had just turned 14yrs died one week after her birthday and my mother would not allow me to say goodbye to her,the last time i saw my sis she was on her way to hospital,she had a heart problem so i was used to her going in and outta hospital.sadly this time she didn,t come home,this time she haden,t given my mum a long list of things i had to take up to her,this time she didn,t say "tell shaz to bring me this or that",this time she left me,she didn,t come back,it,s been nearly 33yrs since her death yet i could tell you exactly what i was doing that day,i went on to marry knowing i had been sterilised due to a problem of losing my pregnancy,s yet i managed to fall pregnant and carry my only child full term, it didn,t affect me so much when i lost my children because i had the chance to mourn,yet still after 33yrs i miss my sis so much it hurt,s me,i used to tell her when we fought "I wish you were dead!" it was a terrible thing to say but i never got to say sorry! and she never came home,i miss her so very much i would give anything to go back and tell her i love you and i,m sorry but it,s too late now and every single day i live with the knowledge that i said terrible things to her but i didn,t get the chance to say goodbye,she was creamated and her ashes are over 300miles away so it,s not like i can go and talk to her,i wish with all my heart i could just tell her,"Caroline i miss you with my heart and soul and i always loved you and i,m so sorry for being so mean to you"but i can,t can i? i,ve seen so many councellor,s but it didn,t help,how can i live with this pain in my heart? how?
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