I'm hoping someone out there can relate to what I am feeling right now -- feelings that I've had for months now that I cannot shake. I've been married for almost 17 years to a man that I basically haven't desired intimately for the past 12 or so years. He basically is a good man, although has had anger issues for many, many years which wore me down emotionally. He has just recently come to realize that he needs to work on those issues ... this came to light when I told him a few months ago that I wanted to move out. He begged me not to go, asked me to give him the chance to be the man that I want. We are going to counseling, but I know in my heart that counseling will not change my attraction (or non-attraction) to my husband. I force myself to be intimate with him and some nights I just can't bring myself to do it. Understandably, he is frusterated and angry, as this has been going on for many years. We have no children, so I guess divorce would be less complicated. What is making this so difficult is that I have been with him for so long ... dated him for 8 years before I married him. My life with him is all I know. I have never been on my own and don't know what to expect. I'm an attractive women, physically fit, receive compliments all the time. Right now I am in a depression because I feel so uncertain and cannot make a decision. I don't want to hurt him anymore than I already have. He has said to me that he knows he is not the man of my dreams. I've been asking the question lately to myself if I can continue living without the passion that I long for ... I want so much more, but the feelings are not there in this relationship and I don't want to be thinking the same thing 10 years from now. Has anyone out there been through this?
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