Bedwetting Support Group

Bedwetting (or nocturnal enuresis or sleepwetting) is involuntary urination while asleep. It is the normal state of affairs in infancy, but can be a source of embarrassment when it persists into school age or the teen or adult years. Find others who are coping with a bedwetting problem and share your experiences and questions.

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solutions to adult bed wetting

My boyfriend is 29 and wets the bed. He has plastic sheets over his mattress and regular sheets over that. When he does urinate in his sleep the urine sits on top of the matress and it eventually gets soaked up by the sheets on top. I often wake up and my side of the bed is soaked in his urine. Are there any soltuions? I've looked into alarms but they seem pretty expensive. Is there something to put on the bed to contain his urine to his side of the bed?

Replies

Thriver
Thriver

What about Depends?
deleted_user
deleted_user

Depends are an option but I'm thinking that a 29 yr old guy isn't going to respond well to the idea of adult diapers. I was looking for some kind of solution that doesn't require him wearing anything. I wish there was something for a side of a bed instead of the whole bed. The plastic sheets are the problem- they spread out all of the urine at night over the entire bed.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Easily solved. You can get absorbent underpads for the bed, which are either reusable or disposable. The disposable ones are available at Walgreens, CVS, etc. Place one under the sheets on his side of the bed and they should contain everything. You might have to buy the largest size if he rolls around a lot.

I like the disposable ones because you can just throw then out and go on with life, the reusable ones you obviously have to launder.
deleted_user
deleted_user

meepsalot,
True adult behavior is to be considerate of one's partner. In cases of enuresis, this may mean a doctor's appointment, medications, surgery, an alarm, or diapers and plastic pants. Medications have side effects which may or may not be tolerable. Surgery may be effective, necessary, or a complete waste; you will need competent medical advice to decide. Alarms can cause sleep deprivation: difficult for children and adolescents, possibly life-threatening for adults who must drive and operate heavy machinery on the job. Surgery made me totally incontinent, but it ended years of intense bladder pain, and saved my kidneys. I wear diapers and plastic pants 24/7 simply to be considerate of the furniture, my wife, and to enable me to function in public. Paxton
deleted_user
deleted_user

I just joined this site and I have dealt with bedwetting for almost 10 years now, Im 35 now. I currently wear a diaper to bed and my wife is very grateful that I do. So yes, its weird but I do it for her. So you might ask your boyfriend if he will....for your sake at least
deleted_user
deleted_user

I'm new here so people hit me up. On this topic, you are right about when you use just a plastic sheet on the bed and one sheet over it the pee will spread. No problem if you are the only one in the bed but with two I see your issue. A fapric covered waterproof cover or bed pad like the one discussed before will help to pee the pee on his side of the bed. I do not share a bed but have the pad thing on over my plastic cover and the wet spot is contained to just where I am sleeping. hope this helps.
midnight77
midnight77

I'm close to your boyfriend's age and still wet the bed occasionally also. As much as it's not fun for you, it's definitely more not fun for him!! I would also recommend a bed pad that is cloth on one side and plastic on the other -- those contain accidents much better than just platsic. Also, if you wake up to use the bathroom (or for any other reason) during the night, you could try waking him up too to see if he has to go. I'm recently married myself, and my wife has done that simple step for me and it has helped reduce my accidents a lot! I hope you can find something that works for both of you. Thanks for supporting your boyfriend with this difficult problem!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Plastic sheets are only to protect the mattress. They are very uncomfortable and I dont recommend them at all.

If he doesnt want to wear anything, a very workable solution is to get a waterproof pad AND an absorbent cloth to cover it. I sometimes use a pad I bought at Giant in the baby section for bedwetting kids. But you MUST cover this pad with enough absorbent cloth to be able to absorb all wetness. This will contain the urine to the cloth on the pad. Its also important that the cloth stay only on the pad and not extend beyond it. For the absorbent cloth, I use a thick adult diaper but a towel will work just as well. The cotton (flannel) diaper is more comfortable.

But this is a stop gap measure. If he is lying on his back, he may soak the top sheet/blanket and it may run down to a point not covered by the pad. This happens sometimes.

The pads are about 24 inches by 36 inches and cost less than $20. So you should not have to sleep on a hot an muggy plastic sheet.

BTW, any wet sheets or blankets are usually very COLD and will wake someone up. So you should have additional absorbent cloths ready to be switched out as needed.

On another note, if this happens every night and has been happening every night, there is something else going on here. What I mean is that you only have to wet the bed a few times to realize that plastic sheets do not do anything except protect the mattress. This means the sheets and blankets are absorbing all the urine. Are they washed every day? If not, they were does this urine go? What does the room smell like? Plus he has to know that you will also get wet. Did he warn you? Is there something he isnt telling you?
deleted_user
deleted_user

I also still wet the bed when I sleep. We have a king-size bed with a plastic sheet amd a thick matress cover under our sheets. This works to keep my wife dry most of the time. So, try a thick cotton mattress cover over the plastic sheet,and under your bottom sheet. It works for us.
deleted_user
deleted_user

my daughters father (whom i share a bed with...) has been wetting the bed, for no reason really, hes 23 now and it is annoying, to wake up and find the sheets wet, but i am sad for him, and want some advice for being a friend/family member of an adult bedwetter....so i know how you feel ""meepsalot"" He is very embarrassed about it, wont talk about it, and i want him to talk about it with someone ....does anyne have any helpful resources? PLEASE LET ME KNOW
deleted_user
deleted_user

ALSO--Adam77 was right, sometimes i ANNOY 'partner' until he gets up to use the bathroom, i just tell him he told me to make sure he got up, although hes a heavy sleeper so its hard, but i get him up sometimes... so it can help.... just not very well in my case...::SMILES::
deleted_user
deleted_user

Justme and meepsalot, I would suggest at least bring the diaper solution to the table. I'm a 27 year old who recently began wetting the bed. I've dealt with this on and off my entire life. One night I wet the bed with my girlfriend in it. I shared with her my history and we decided that I'd wear a diaper initially to gauge the frequency of the accidents.

At first, I was extremely embarassed, but she joked around about it and was very supportive. Now, it isn't a big deal and I'm happy to say she hasn't gotten wet once since I started wearing them. In fact, I'm glad she made the suggestion because I don't know if I would've resorted to wearing diapers; at least not initially.

Currently, I wet fairly often probably like 5 nights out of the week. As a result, I do wear a diaper each night. It's just a lot easier to deal with a wet diaper then anything else and, like I stated above, her attitude and approach just made everything easier
deleted_user
deleted_user

I can only go with what I know. Diapers and plastic pants have not stopped my bedwetting, but they keep the bed dry!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hello everyone. Meepsalot, how were you able to get him to agree to any sort of mattress protector? My fiance is 27 and for our whole relationship we've been trying to deal with this problem. We even discussed it after I put up a webpage for a support group for him to see when he got home from work. I try to be supportive, because I wet the bed until I was 16 and I know it can be tough. But, he works the night shift, so he sleeps during the day. Well, when I crawl in bed at night, I don't always remember to check first and I get wet all over. The biggest problem is not that it happens, it's just that I can't be washing sheets and bed clothes at all hours of the night because he doesn't want to tell me. I mean 6 years and he won't let me buy ANYTHING to help with the problem. Every time I bring it up in the store (very quietly and with all the love and understanding I can possibly muster) he just says that he'll take care of it from now on. I don't want to sound mean, it's just so hard. We have two children and I have to be up with them after staying up all night and washing things. Are we doomed? Are there any suggestions?
midnight77
midnight77

Carrielynn,

I know it's a hard subject to discuss... in fact I can guarantee that your fiance is emotionally all over the place on the issue... on one hand I'm sure part of him would love to be able to be completely open, honest and co-operative with you in talking about this and dealing with it... but there's also a very powerful impulse to be in complete denial about it and just try to slip through life as though it never happened. Leaving a wet bed for you to crawl into by accident seems like a very inconsiderate thing (and it is) but it also screams of being a "denial" behavior... just covering it up and kind of wishing it away. There's no easy way to break it, like I said it's a really powerful impulse... but you just have to be crystal clear with him that it's not his wetting itself that is a problem for you, but just the way he handles it (or doesn't) when it happens. I'd suggest you try to start slow with him, maybe just have a hamper available to him and ask if he could at least strip the bed bare and throw his wet sheets in there, rather than leaving them for you to find on your own. If he can do that much then you can try to work out having him do the laundry, etc.... it really isn't too much to ask but as hard as this issue is for him, he might need time and "baby steps" to get used to the idea.

As for protecting the bed, it's really necessary to have SOMETHING there in order to avoid ruining the mattress... the least obtrusive thing (though a little pricey) is a quilted "waterproof mattress pad" which you can find at any major department store... that's like a regular matress pad (and actually just a little more expensive than a regular mattress pad) and has a plastic layer in the middle to protect the bed, but the cloth cover looks and feels like a "normal" bed so you can barely tell the plastic is there. Those do have to be dried on low heat, which can be a pain, but the plus side is that they're re-usable and very comfortable to sleep on.

I hope you're able to have an open and honest conversation with him on this at some point! Please do keep us posted and let us know if there's anything more we can do to help!