OMG I'm so sorry your feeling this bad. Yeah I have so many concers too and it seems like if it's not one thing it's another. One thing you said that caught my attention is that your seeing your son come back again and that says a lot about you. He has a mom thats educating herself, applying info and i'm sure so many other things. The eye thing yeah sounds sucpicious and you should have that checked out. a.s.a.p. Autism is so complex and research is the key. My biggest concern is the same how much will he be able to grow and who will take care of him?

i dont know, i keep telling myself that adam WILL take care of himself, i dont mean financially, i am sure he will need financialy help and may probably never leave home, thats ok with me. what i mean in his case is he will bath himself, he will dress himself, he will make himself a sandwhich, ect. i want him to be as much as he can be, but hey, you know what, if all he does is the basic stuff that is ok too. HIS best is all i want from him, if its just selfhelp ok, if he is the next Bill Gates that will be ok too. as long as he is happy!

I swing around on what I think JOrdans future will be, but when I really think about it, I think he'll be ok. Not the same as everyone else, but ok.
The key is to remember that he doesn't learn the way other kids do. Simple skills need to be taught, and repeatedly, and over and over and over for years sometimes! My 13 year old can iron his school uniform, cook a simple meal, and manage basic finances. He'll be fine.

what a scary topic,
if i think too much about it, i get sick inside.
so i do what i can today and tomorrow to help steven in everything,
heck maybe they will come up with something that helps them completely before they are adults.
i pray,

You just have to take things day by day, this is the only way to save your sanity.

We have all been where you are emotionally. It's amazing how tough and fragile a mother's heart can be. Try to focus on your sons strengths and have faith. There are many ups and downs to come. Just hang in there, this too shall pass.
And of course he'll grow up, he's a little boy before he is autistic. He will grow with love and family, after all I can feel your love for him from here!
Blessings-Diane

That is my biggest fear - not so much where my son is now but where he will go in life. I think it's a normal fear - for any mother. We just happen to know what hurdles our children need to overcome. One day at a time. All I can say is if the latest statistics are accurate - 1 in 96 boys are on the spectrum - we are definitley not alone (and neither are our kids!)

I was going to write saying I wanted to hear stories of grown children but truly each child is so completely different. Noahsmommy said we have to take things day by day which is so true. Day by day, year by year and see where life leads. I know life will never be boring that's for sure.

All I can add is if you could compare my 6 year old to his 3 year old self, you'd never recognize him. He still has a long way to go, more conversational speech to acquire etc. But I think eventually he will get there. I used to think back before I had kids I'd kick them all out at 18/20 but now I wouldn't mind if he lived with us forever, even if he's married with kids. You just have to do your best and educated yourself even on things you might not think apply, and give your kid every opportunity to be as "normal" and as "self-sufficient " as possible. I think we will all worry for the rest of our lives. We have to do everything we can while we are still here with them.

Remember he's exposed to more kids at school and it may take him some time to build up his immunity. Check his eye out for strabismus (cross-eyes), it's fairly common, my husband and Jake both had/have it. My husband is perfectly fine. Jake's had 2 surgeries, which should be it and will wear glasses for a time. It's hard not to worry and wonder, but TRY not to let it overpower you. Swim in it wholly for 15 minutes and then knock yourself back to reality. You are doing the VERY best you can for him and because of that...he will have the best life he can, in whatever fashion it may be. Remember that anything is possible with our angels, it just doesn't seem as plausible right now. Stay strong! ;)

Hi, check out my website http://chat1autism.wetpaint.com/ and interestingly, the first page has a song about not worrying about the future...just go one day at a time.

Luv,
Kris

IM THERE NOW. THE FUTURE IS HERE FOR ME! ITS VERY SCAREY. I REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS YOUNG, SAYING THAT I DONT MIND IF HE LIVES WITH ME FOREVER, I JUST WANT HIM TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AFTER HIMSELF AND BE AS INDEPENDENT AS POSSIBLE. WELL, HERE WE ARE, HE IS 18 IN MARCH, IN A FURTHER EDUCATION BOARDING SCHOOL (COMING HOME AT WEEKENDS NOW) DONE SOME EXAMS AND PASSED 3 WITH GOOD GRADES, NOW DOING LIFE SKILLS, CAN COOK A BASIC MEAL ALONE, CAN GO SHOPPING, CAN USE HIS BANK ACCOUNT, CAN GO TO YOUTH CLUB WITH 'NORMAL' TEENAGERS, CAN WASH HIS CLOTHES, IRON, KEEP HOUSE TIDY, USE A MOBILE PHONE, GO OUT ALONE ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT FOR 3 HOURS AT A TIME, BE AWARE OF ALL EMERGENCY PLANS WE HAVE ARANGED AND USE THEM. THIS IS A HUGE ACHIEVEMENT. WHEN HE WAS DIAGNOSED, I WAS TOLD TO TRY AND ACHIEVE HIM USING THE TOILET AS THIS WOULD BE HELPFUL TO ME IN THE FUTURE, BUT THAT HE HAD RETARDATION THAT MENT HE WOULD NEED 24HOUR CARE FOREVER. WELL, NOW WE ARE LOOKING AT MORE EDUCATION, LIVING IN SUPPORTED LIVING, DEALING WITH GIRLFRIEND ISSUES...... YEP, ITS ALL HAPPENING! OK. SO HE NEEDS ME TO INPUT ALOT MORE THAN MOST TEENAGERS WOULD, AND YES HE IS GONNA NEED HELP AND SUPPORT FOREVER, MORE SO FOR HIS OWN SAFETY THAN ANYTHING ELSE, BUT HE IS DOING REALLY WELL AND DESPITE ALL MY CONCERNS, I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF HIM AND ALL THE HARD WORK THAT HAS BEEN OUT INTO HIS LIFE. HE IS THE STAR OF HIS OWN SHOW NOW, AND I AM THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, BUT HE WRITES THE SCRIPT.

Love that analogy Bubsmom!

Bananas85 our sons are the same ag, and my boy has had many colds, eye infections and ill feeling for the past 4-6 weeks. I think it is some virus surge. My younger brother is now 48, happy birthday to him. He has moderate MR due to a birth trauma. He is home with my elderly, infirmed mother and she ig most grateful for him! Read the books by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron, both on the spectrum and now very accomplished adults. There IS a light at the end. There are no limits to our kids. The ar able to do what they want, especially if they have the support as little kids, when the ability to help them has wonderful potential.

I dont come on this forum as often as I should but my son and I are on the spectrum. I am very high functioning (above average IQ and if I didn't have these other limitations it would show more) and my son is high functioning and its funny because even though I am independent, fully functional, married and stuff.. I also worry if my son will be and deep down I KNOW he will be but its still a fear I have.. a fear that most mothers have. I would even imagine mothers who even have NT kids have this fear. Emotionally I am a mess and that is what has put me back more than anything...but many on the spectrum can live fulfilling independent lives. Early intervention is a blessing! They didn't know much about it when I was a kid but I was in special ed, didn't speak until I was 6 and knew I was different from the "normal" (still trying to figure out what that *really* means) kids and it hurt.. I deal with depression and other issues that get into the way, if I didn't have these other issues I would have turned out more successful than I am. I was picked on a lot as a kid because I was not the "average" kid and never really got over it. I admit I am concerned about this with my son, though he is only 3, I hope and pray that he will be accepted and the fact that he is doing so well does bring hope. I just want him to be happy and not to deal with the obstacles that I did. He has potential and I want him to live up to it. So anyway YES they CAN live independent and successful lives, however, tackling it early on is the key. Thank goodness awareness is being spread like it is.