
Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group
Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.

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ME AGAIN- OK HERE'S ONE I REALLY WOULD LIKE OPINIONS ON PLEASE. AS YOU ALL PROBABLY KNOW FRANCIS (MY SON) IS 17, CURRENTLY IN FURTHER EDUCATION 'TIL 19- BUT ITS NOW TIME FOR 'AUTHORITIES AND FINANACIAL ASSISTORS' TO RECEIVE APPLICATIONS FOR ANY FUTURE FUNDING FOR HIM.. SO, THESE ARE THE CHOICES.....
STAY WITH ME FOREVER, MAYBE DO LOTS OF COLLEGE COURSES, MAYBE SOME SORT OF PART-TIME EMPLOYMENT.
CONTINUE IN RESIDENTIAL COLLEGE AND GAIN MORE QUALIFICATIONS AND LIFE SKILLS TIL HE IS 25
MOVE INTO ADULT ASSISTED HOUSING WITH OTHERS WITH ASD
OK. NOW THE HARD BIT. REALITY IS THAT FRANCIS WILL ALWAYS NEED SUPPORT, HE CAN DO ALL THE DOMESTIC STUFF, SHOPPING, CLEANING, CLOOKING, WASHING, ALL UNAIDED. BUT... HE REALLY IS VERY VULNERABLE SOCIALLY, HE TALKS TO STRANGERS, HE IS INNAPRORPIATE AT TIMES WITH GIRLS AND OTHERS, ANY QUESTION HE DOESNT GET, HE JUST SAYS 'YES' BUT HE IS ADAMANT THAT WHEN HE IS 18 (MARCH) HE WILL BE AN ADULT AND HE DOESNT WANT TO BE AROUND AUTISTIC PEOPLE ANY MORE, OR ANYONE WITH LEARNING DIFFICULTIES AT ALL, THAT HE WANTS TO GO TO WORK, GET A WIFE, HAVE TWO KIDS AND A DOG AND LIVE HAPPILY.
BEING REAL, I CAN TELL YOU (WITHOUT TRYING TO SOUND TOO HARSH) IT REALLY IS UNLIKELY THAT THIS WILL BE POSSIBLE, I HAVE TRIED, IN EVERY WAY I KNOW HOW, TO GET THIS THROUGH TO HIM, BUT HE JUST KEEPS SAYING "MUM, IM GONNA BE AN ADULT- I CAN DO WHAT I LIKE"
HHHEEEELLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!
AFTER TRYING ALL THE NICE WAYS OF SAYING IT- I GOT VERY BLUNT AND JUST SAID "FRANCIS, YOUR AUTISM IS NOT GONNA GO AWAY AND YOU WILL ALWAYS NEED HELP IN YOUR LIFE" .... HE IS NOT IMPRESSED AND IS CURRENTLY HAVING A PADDY IN HIS BEDROOM... CAN YOU HEAR HIM??
THE PROBLEM.... THE LAW SAYS THAT AT 18 HE HAS THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE, DESPITE HIS 'MENTAL IMPAIRMENT' AND IF HE DOES NOT WANT SERVICES, IT WILL BE HARD FOR ME TO OVERRIDE THAT.SO, SOMEHOW, BETWEEN NOW AND MARCH, IVE GOTTA CONVINCE HIM....... OR HAVE HIM WITH ME FOR EVER (YEAH I KNOW, BUT IVE HAD HIM HOME TIL HE WAS 16 EVERY DAY, THEN STILL EACH WEEKEND AND I HAVE SEVER NARCOLEPSY TOO, IM A SINGLE PARENT AND WOULD QUITE LIKE A BIT OF 'ME' TIME... IS THAT SELFISH?? WHEN HE WAS 5 I THOUGHT IT WAS COOL TO SAY "OH WELL, HE CAN LIVE WITH ME FOREVER- NO PROBLEM" BUT I TELL YOU WHAT- ITS HARD GOIN AND IM NOT SURE I CAN CONTINUE TO GIVE HIM ALL OF ME... INDEFINITELY..OK, TELL ME IM A CRAP MUM (NO, PLEASE DONT ACTUALLY!)BUT I FEEL TRAPPED, DESPERATE, SELFISH BUT ON THE OTHER HAND MY LOVE FOR HIM CANT LET HIM GO INTO THE BIG WIDE WORLD'CAUSE I KNOW HOW MUCH IT COULD HURT HIM.
STAY WITH ME FOREVER, MAYBE DO LOTS OF COLLEGE COURSES, MAYBE SOME SORT OF PART-TIME EMPLOYMENT.
CONTINUE IN RESIDENTIAL COLLEGE AND GAIN MORE QUALIFICATIONS AND LIFE SKILLS TIL HE IS 25
MOVE INTO ADULT ASSISTED HOUSING WITH OTHERS WITH ASD
OK. NOW THE HARD BIT. REALITY IS THAT FRANCIS WILL ALWAYS NEED SUPPORT, HE CAN DO ALL THE DOMESTIC STUFF, SHOPPING, CLEANING, CLOOKING, WASHING, ALL UNAIDED. BUT... HE REALLY IS VERY VULNERABLE SOCIALLY, HE TALKS TO STRANGERS, HE IS INNAPRORPIATE AT TIMES WITH GIRLS AND OTHERS, ANY QUESTION HE DOESNT GET, HE JUST SAYS 'YES' BUT HE IS ADAMANT THAT WHEN HE IS 18 (MARCH) HE WILL BE AN ADULT AND HE DOESNT WANT TO BE AROUND AUTISTIC PEOPLE ANY MORE, OR ANYONE WITH LEARNING DIFFICULTIES AT ALL, THAT HE WANTS TO GO TO WORK, GET A WIFE, HAVE TWO KIDS AND A DOG AND LIVE HAPPILY.
BEING REAL, I CAN TELL YOU (WITHOUT TRYING TO SOUND TOO HARSH) IT REALLY IS UNLIKELY THAT THIS WILL BE POSSIBLE, I HAVE TRIED, IN EVERY WAY I KNOW HOW, TO GET THIS THROUGH TO HIM, BUT HE JUST KEEPS SAYING "MUM, IM GONNA BE AN ADULT- I CAN DO WHAT I LIKE"
HHHEEEELLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!
AFTER TRYING ALL THE NICE WAYS OF SAYING IT- I GOT VERY BLUNT AND JUST SAID "FRANCIS, YOUR AUTISM IS NOT GONNA GO AWAY AND YOU WILL ALWAYS NEED HELP IN YOUR LIFE" .... HE IS NOT IMPRESSED AND IS CURRENTLY HAVING A PADDY IN HIS BEDROOM... CAN YOU HEAR HIM??
THE PROBLEM.... THE LAW SAYS THAT AT 18 HE HAS THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE, DESPITE HIS 'MENTAL IMPAIRMENT' AND IF HE DOES NOT WANT SERVICES, IT WILL BE HARD FOR ME TO OVERRIDE THAT.SO, SOMEHOW, BETWEEN NOW AND MARCH, IVE GOTTA CONVINCE HIM....... OR HAVE HIM WITH ME FOR EVER (YEAH I KNOW, BUT IVE HAD HIM HOME TIL HE WAS 16 EVERY DAY, THEN STILL EACH WEEKEND AND I HAVE SEVER NARCOLEPSY TOO, IM A SINGLE PARENT AND WOULD QUITE LIKE A BIT OF 'ME' TIME... IS THAT SELFISH?? WHEN HE WAS 5 I THOUGHT IT WAS COOL TO SAY "OH WELL, HE CAN LIVE WITH ME FOREVER- NO PROBLEM" BUT I TELL YOU WHAT- ITS HARD GOIN AND IM NOT SURE I CAN CONTINUE TO GIVE HIM ALL OF ME... INDEFINITELY..OK, TELL ME IM A CRAP MUM (NO, PLEASE DONT ACTUALLY!)BUT I FEEL TRAPPED, DESPERATE, SELFISH BUT ON THE OTHER HAND MY LOVE FOR HIM CANT LET HIM GO INTO THE BIG WIDE WORLD'CAUSE I KNOW HOW MUCH IT COULD HURT HIM.
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You are a great Mum! I suggest you find the agency that will support him in the adult world, and get him established with a counselor that can guid him, so that he won't feel like he is mama's kid still.
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Most families make it a family project to visit colleges before applying. Make a project to help him decide. Encourage his independence, but also hold him accountable for making choices he needs to stick with. Go to all the options and get the info before choosing!
Thanks for the Christmas note. Happy Holidays to you both!
I will tell you what he's told me. Never think he can't do because the "autism" think of it as a challenge not disability. He can do fine out there if he;s high functioning g. Never under estimate.
Plus, I know how it is to want alone time or mom time. It doesn't happen at my house either.