I agree that he would like to know the truth. It's a desperate and lonely feeling to not know what's with you. I didn't get dx'ed until 14, but my mom heard the big A word when I was younger and decided there was NO way I was autistic. I was just "quirky". Anyways, if you do tell him, get him he book called "Differant Like Me". It's a kid's book about famous indviduals with or suspected of having AS or other ASD.

my daughter is too young yet to understand her diagnosis, but if I was you, I would tell him as much as he can understand. How horrible it must be to think differently than others do yet not understand why. I plan to tell her there is nothing "wrong" with her but that she does see and understand things differently than some others. He knows there is something there, and especially if he's been tested and getting treatment but you won't tell him whats wrong, kids sometimes tend to think that something horrible is wrong and that's why you won't tell them. I don't want my daughter to think it's something to hide or be ashamed of, and what she knows and can acknowlege she can work on. As they get older they will be able to understand more, but for me to say nothing when they know something is up is worse. Hang in there, we are all trying to do the best in a world that is new to us....trying to make the best decisions....
Jenny

Don't they have a kid friendly book to help you tell him? Maybe post that and see what comes up.

Hi Brensmom,

My son is 7 too and dx'd with AS, AD/HD, OCD and Sensory Issues. Up til lately, we have only discussed the AD/HD because he had to take medication for it and questioned it. We explained that it helped him calm down and focus. We actually went last summer without the medication and he asked to be on it again because he realized it helped him with his impulisivity and focus.

However, in the last two months, we started encountering something different. Jacob started talking more and more about hearing voices. We ended up discovering that he has kind of figured out what has been going on himself and has used the voices as sort of a self diagnosis. He says he hears a bad voice when he's dealing with his OCD compulsions. This makes sense because adults are always trying to redirect him, when all he wants to do is do what his body is telling him to do. Therefore, he feels it is a bad voice. Once is over, there's a good voice because he feels bad and wants to make everyone feel good around him. This is his conscience.

He got the idea of "voices" from a Spongebob episode on TV and thought there are lots of little Jacob's in his head that do specific things. One that reads, one that does math, one that works with legoes, one that does bad things, one that does good things, one that does homework, one that does gymnastics, ect. He basically categorizes everything based on what he saw in this cartoon. He thought this was how everyone's brain works. I had asked him the question one night, "Jacob, does your brain move alot." Thinking about the AD/HD. He laughed and told me, "Mom, that's such a great question, no one has ever asked me that question." "Yes, it does." Then he told me about all the jobs, each of the little Jacob's do. I then, asked... you mean like in this Spongebob show? And, he replied, "Yes, exactly." It was then that everything began to click in place. My husband and I began to realize that we needed to explain his dx's to him. He was ready. We didn't think we would be at 7. But, he was.

We found two books. One is called, Asperger's Huh? A child's Perspective. It's written by a 10 year old who has been dx'd with AS. I have not received this book yet. I've been told it is good, but it is very specific with the attribute this child has. I just figured we could talk about the things he deals with and the things this boy deals with. This boy interest is weather, my son's is legoes and video games. I think it is good to recognize what other people deal with too. So, I was fine purchasing this book. The other book, actually it's a workbook to be done with the parent and child is called, Asperger's: What Does It Mean to Me? This has been recommended to me by several sources. None of the sources have done it as young as my son is. The youngest was 9. But, we feel Jacob is totally ready based on how reflective and willing he is to talk about everything. Again, we are waiting for theses to arrive anyday.

However, given all that. We have sat down and talked with him about the dx about 2 weeks ago. He handled it very well. My husband more or less was there as support and backed me up. He jumped in here and there. But, for the most part let me talk. I spoke of going to the doctors and about what we talk about. I told him what he was dx'd with and had him reiterate the name. I talked about how he has asked us to help him and that he knows we are always there to help him, as is his teacher and his aide. We talked about the brain and how sometimes things get confusing. I asked him what types of things confused him and he started telling me a few things. I told him they were attributed to the AS and gave him examples. We talked about motor breaks that he takes in school and why they help him feel better. All sorts of things. I kind of let him set the pace with his questions. But, I did prompt him now and then. It didn't last a terribly long time, but we did address it several times during a weekend. We told him that we are always there for him and if he is ever confused about anything to please come to us and just ask. His teachers/aide are there for him as well. Since doing this, we have had a couple times where he has started to get upset and I have been able to say, I understand you're frustrated. What is it about? Please let me know, I'm here to help. Sometimes, before, he'd just close up on me...I found now, he's opening up and talking about it more, especially if it is a pragmatics issue. Since explaining, it seems he isn't so hard on himself, if that makes sense.

Also, it's helped when he's had problems dealing with a particular boy that lives down the street that he struggles with sometimes.

Also, we explained that sometimes it is difficult to make friends, but that is why he goes to the social skill classes. It is teach him how to learn to deal with other kids. We know it's not easy. But, it can be done. We are here to work as a team and together, we can conquer anything.

Thank you all so much!! Your advice and suggestions are truly appreciated.. He is out of school on Friday and I am off of work. I may just spend the day with him and start the discussions. I truly think he is ready. I am going to the bookstore to try and find the boks that were recommended. I also heard of another one called Blue Bottle Mysteries or something like that. Thanks again so much! I hope one day I can share this experience with others as you guys have done with me...

I have a son 22 years old and a daughter 19 I lost my 12year old daughter and i have a 2 year old when Tommy started showing signs I had seen beforebut more intense I finally told my older children that they were afflicted with Aspergers. I was divorced from there father years ago as he and the court system never understood there behaviors and affliction. Henever excepted the fact that they were different.

My son is 8. I told him he had PDD-NOS last year. I explained it in terms so he could understand. He appreciated it. We have since watched programs of other children with autism. It's amazing how he can seem to relate to some of them.

ok, but how do you say it? how do you tell a 6 yr old that they have autism? I had every intention of asking this question myself. Adam knows there is something ifferent about him, how, in what words do I tell him what the real deal is?

I told my son while we were watching a program about a girl with autism. Then I explained that he was similar to this girl. Then I told him what his differences were from the girl in the program. He asked many questions. However, I had already done a lot of research in this field, so I knew the answers. He told me that he appreciated knowing why he was different from his friends.

There are some really good books. I used the different like me book.