I've been there. The first thing we did is assume a "regular" predictable sleep pattern with him in our bed. SO he was used to going to bed at 8:00pm (or whatever time) Then, Once he was used to the reggular schedule, we began laying down with him in his room at the 8:00pm and waiting for him to go to sleep and creeping out. Then if he woke up, we'd bring him back to his room and lay down with him again even if it meant all night. Then once he was used to sleeping in his own bed in his own room all night, we began staying until he was just about to drift off, then leave after a few minutes, then would drop him off kiss him goodnight and leave.

All in all it took about a year. Doing all these steps in stages. He's 6 now and has been sleeping him his own bed and room for almost 2 years now.
I know about big too. I had been lettinghim fall asleep onthe couch before that and carrying him upstairs. (while pregnant!)
He's 6 now and 4'6" and 107 lbs! big boy!

Well this is hard to do but I did it with Sean and now I have to start it with Brett too so I feel you pain. Our Behaviorist told me to just put them in there bed read them the good old story lay with them a bit and then tell them it is time for night night. Leave the room turn off the light ( I have a night light on) close the door and put up the good old lock gate, I also have one of those things on the door knob so they can't open from the other end. They will scream and cry get out of there bed tear apart their room for about a week 1/2 you will find them sleeping on the floor it will be a nightmare for you and them too. I would check on them after all the screaming and noise stopped to find them sleeping on the floor and then I would put them in their big boy bed. Sean did the screaming for about 2 weeks then he knew I wasn't coming in to rescue him and he never leaves his bed now. It is really really hard on us moms, but it works. Now even if Sean wakes in the night (I have one of those baby monitors so I can hear him) he will lay in his bed read a book, play with a toy maybe but he never cries. It is 2 weeks of pure hell, but it works!!!! Good luck, Denise

Letting them scream may work for some, but not for my family! Paul will scream all night if we let him. Also, my husband Karl gets up at 1 AM to got to work and cannot listen to his son scream all night as he needs his sleep.

Well, I was posting what worked for me and my family. Katie was asking for advice and what people did to get them to sleep in their own bed and this is what our family did. Different strokes for different folks right? Denise

what i did was let adam fall asleep on the couch, he loved doing that, with the agreement that when it was time for me to go to bed he had to go to his bed. the first week or so he resisted but i stood my ground, i could tell him if he keeps fighting about going to his room when i go to bed then he cant fall asleep on the couch. i also let him get good and asleep, usually about an hour into sleep made it easier cause he was to tired to resist too hard. after about 2 weeks he started asking to go to HIS bed. i always talked to him about being a big boy, it does help to tell him he is a big boy and big boys sleep in their big boy beds. we also put a tv in his room. sound mute, but there is something about the tv light he has to have. he never asks to sleep with me and always requests to go to bed now without falling asleep on the couch.

With regard to sleeping with the Tv. on... there have been some studies that suggest because of the flashing lights of the tv, the body doesn't actually go into full REM sleep. Which over time can cause problems. Also there is a sleep hormone that only releases during sleep in a dark room. This hormone is essential to the body and for solid sleep. I often fall asleep in front of the tv myself (trying to get some me time - never happens. I crash anyway!) and I never feel well rested afterward. See if you can put the tv on a timer or sneak in and turn it off.

My situation is different, my son must sleep with me, he is an eloper! I will say, that when he was smaller, and could fit into a toddler size bed, I put it in my room, beside my bed, he would say "hand momma" I would hold his hand until he wentt to sleep. This really worked! He was in the same room, right beside my bed, so he was safe and secure. Too bad a twin bed will not fit into my bedroom now!!!! I know you would prefer him sleeping in his own bedroom, but ya gotta start somewhere? I hope this helps.

Hi, your son is four and from the sounds of it a very smart boy. He knows that if he screams and throw fits eventually he will make it to your bed because everyone is sick of dealing eith him. Kids really have it all figured out.
Anyways, Nathan also did this and would be up for hours in the night if we moved him to his room so I did something similar to challenger. We had a bath, watched a show, read a couple of books and then bedtime. In bed we also sang a few songs and said our prayers and the fight began. We started by sitting on a chair beside his bed until he was asleep, and gradually moving the chair closer to the door, eventually we sat outside his door and then in the kitchen, etc gradually getting further and further away from his bed. The key for us was that Nathan needed us to be trustworthy. If we said we would be at the kitchen table and were not there we would be back to step one. He had to know what was going on and for us to be consistent.
After 6 months or so he was going to bed great in his own bed and when he wakes in the night he usually will go back to be fairly good with me just giving him a kiss and tucking him in . It was a long battle but woth it.

I'm having the exact same problem with my son. He's 5 and already in Kindergarden! He will not sleep without me. At the moment we allow him to fall asleep on the couch while I sit with him and rub his back. Once he falls asleep I carry him into his bed. However, I'm now 5 months pregnant and the bigger I get the harder it is for me to carry him to his room. He also gets up in the middle of the night and runs into my bedroom. I've now found it much easier to just get up and go sleep in his bed. My son is actually really small for his age but he moves and kicks alot in his sleep, I'm constantly worried he'll kick my stomach at night. I'm definately going to take some of the advise given from the other parents on here and try to train my boy to sleep on his own. Good Luck to you.

sam does this. We finally told him that he's a big boy now and big boys sleep in his own bed. We sit beside the bed until he falls asleep but now it's usually only about five minutes and he's gone. He actually now comes and tells me it's time to go to bed. Hang in there.

This is a problem for me too. My husband thinks Oli is "addicted" to me.